A fine piece of advice there from young Kelly. Frankly even in this day of online ordination it would be hard pushed to find a church that would accept Ozzy Osbourne as congregation let alone a lay preacher. And even if he did obtain a certificate from atonewithgod.com it is difficult to see who exactly would be able to understand a word he said, his preaching style being heavy on the incoherent mumbling. Even past these frankly insurmountable problems, if he could be understood, it is hard to say if biting the head off a bat counts as a proper holy devotion. So good advice Kelly.

Alternatively if Kelly’s advice is more of the colloquial style, thus asking her Papa not to preach at her about some misdemeanour we must also concur. He would be better of batting her head off.