TONY ALLEN – Afroshite

Tony Allen is generally regarded as being one of the most innovative drummers in the world. Now of course I have no regard for any kind of musician, let alone a drummer. But let us examine that statement. He is an innovative drummer.

Where is the room for innovation in drumming?

As far as I am concerned drummers are the most boring members of bands for a reason. What they do is monotonous. Literally. So to innovate a whole new kind of monotony is to raise your monotony to such a fine art that it is quite obvious where the Tony part of monotony comes from. Drumming sets the tempo, it accompanies, it gives me a fucking headache. But innovation? Note that when he left Fela Kuti’s band in the seventies, old Fela had to draft in not one, not two but three drummers to replace him. On to drum and the other two to tell really dull stories about what they did in the war, and this really big fish they bought once.

Unfortunately leaving Fela Kuti’s band did not mark the end of the career of the only drummer who is proud that he can’t keep a beat. Instead he decided to try and spread his afrobeats around the world. The method with which he has recently tried to do this is via the power of a collaboration with Damon Albarn. Which just goes to show yet again how stupid drummers are.