Another trawl through my always riveting mail finds alongside the requests for me to eviscerate Gong and Genesis(The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway – and gets run over by me in a monster truck, etc etc) this curious note from Tonamel Rhysthal:

“It seems to me that even though you hate -all- music, your site seems curiously devoid of classical composers…
And if you do it, don’t go lumping them all together, because Bach, and Beethoven sound absolutely nothing alike.”

You are right of course, I have hithertoo shown little interest in them, mainly because they are all dead and can do no more harm (a reason which unfortunately cannot be applied to John Lennon). But of course I know the difference. Bach is the twiddly one that all sad, dull mathematicians like. Beethoven is the pompous, lazy one who couldn’t be arsed to finish his symphonies and was so bad, so very very bad that his own body could not stand listening to his crap and made him go deaf. See. Alike only in their lack of quality.