One down, hundreds to go: bye bye, Tubby!

Thank you very much those of you who’ve e-mailed me. I’ve not been replying yet but I have been reading, and your suggestions are very, very welcome. You’ll be delighted to know that the people at Freaky Trigger have decided to make me a regular feature, and no surprise given that I bring in more hits than the rest of it combined. So this’ll go on until I get bored. Or until music stops forever.

One reader writes: “i hate: silly jumped nobodys who think that what they think matters. what i think doesnt matter. what the bloke next to me thinks doesnt matter. neither do posh spice, vladimir putin or julie burchill’s opinions, or anyones, ever, matter. thus, neither does yours. so why bother? being a smartarse = funny for a bit, but one day you will grow up”. Well said, Sir! Though I would humbly suggest that Vladimir Putin’s opinions do matter a little bit, seeing as he’s in control of the world’s second largest nuclear arsenal.

He could start by targetting Pavement with his missiles of death. I’ve been gratified to find so many people suggesting that Pavement get their share of verbals, since they are a band I particularly loathe. It’s late and I need my gin, so a full dissection will have to wait, but let me just allow myself one initial comment: if you are a grown man, and I have it on good authority Pavement are, you shouldn’t call yourself Spiral Stairs. It only makes you look like a wanker. Mind you, if you’re making a living playing songs like “Carrot Rope” that’s a bit of a moot point.

The same, incidentally, goes for Grasshopper. With knobs on.