Mar 10

Pop World Cup 2010: Group G – Portugal 2 Korea DPR 1

FT/18 comments • 3,313 views

The Portuguese left the pitch after their disappointing first match with a look of steely determination in their eyes. they knew what was coming next, which was that they didn’t know what was coming next: the unpredictability of Korea DPR.

Voting on this match finishes at midnight of Sunday the 4th April.

PORTUGAL: Octa Push– “Baila Mundo” The Manager Says “After a very disappointing result in the first group match, where we displayed some beautiful fieldplay but failed to create enough chances, Portugal needs a win. I’m very confident that Lisbon duo Octa Push has both the technique and the killer instinct necessary to take away any doubts that this side is a serious contender. Both Octa Push members are fit from playing in the English dubstep Premier League, with releases on Soul Jazz and Fabric Records. “Baila Mundo” has a message that no World Cup fan will fail to comprehend, or respond to.”

KOREA DPR: Pyongyang Hardcore Resistance – “Corea – Resistance 3” The Manager Says: “Victorious Greetings from the Hermit Kingdom! Place yourselves now in hurried fealty to ILLING BATTERY from the SULLENLY ALIENATED BOHEMIAN  LOUD YOUNG PETTY BOURGEOISE of the West’s UNWELCOMING TRANSIENT SUBURBS. Furious in exiled isolation, PYONGYANG HARDCORE RESISTANCE recall with violent clamorous yearning the MARCHING VIGOUR of the working peoples of their bitterly lost heartlands. They smite their sorrowful breasts, dreaming of the tender whispering field maidens who spurned them before but will one day forgive. If only, if only, sighs the bitter plains wind. Perhaps! Perhaps! “Corea: Resistance 3″:  let the enfeebled and corrupted “jazz” of the pitiful outer layers learn again its verminous futility: GLORIOUS AS THE MOON, TERRIBLE AS AN ARMY WITH  DPRKWAVE. ”

Commentary Box Analysis: Those watching from the stands and the commentary boxes are ducking for cover to save themselves from the blood and mud flying from the boots of both teams in this game (if it’s still a game – it may be more serious than that).  Uncompromising to the point of brutal, nowhere in this World Cup have we seen such robust tactics. The Portuguese are big and strong, with an excellent farty-noise route-one manouvre – but does their tactic maintain interest for the full ninety?  The Koreans, on the other hand, play with all the erratic verve of their manager, but it’s not exactly for dancers only. And what happens in injury time is beyond punditry

Group G Match 3: Which track do you prefer?

  • Portugal: Octa Push 66%
  • Korea DPR: Pyongyang Hardcore Resistance 34%

Total Voters: 91

Poll closes: 4 Apr 2010 @ 23:59

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Result! Group E: The Netherlands 2 Japan 0: In a result which you wouldn’t have predicted from the reactions of the comments-box pundits, the Netherlands ended up well clear in a low-voting game. They are now very close to qualifying for the next round, while the Japanese will be looking nervously at the coming results and matches. They’re not finished yet, though. “High quality and unexpected tactics from both teams – really tough to pick a winner” “Japan’s manager sticking to his guns and continuing to avoid the J-Pop people might have expected… Why force your players into an unfamiliar formation when they’re so good at what they do know?” “The rapper does sound a bit “naff and dorky”, but De Roovere really saves the song. This makes her selection, a Belgian in the Dutch team, the more controversial.” “Japan are playing a very pleasant to watch game here. Dutch rapping just doesn’t do it for me, I’m afraid.” “The more I listen to that [Dutch] track the more I like it, actually. Diggy has been studying his Beatnuts.”

Coming Next: More Group G as we enjoy the slightly rescheduled game between Brazil, widely tipped but pointless after round 1, and the might of the Cote D’Ivoire. A classic surely awaits?


  1. 1
    FC Ljubljana but logged out innit on 29 Mar 2010 #

    Much as I enjoyed DPRK’s tactics here (which the Slovenian team narrowly decided against using themselves), Portugal have just fielded one of the starting XIs of the tournament for me. Absolutely brilliant.

  2. 2
    weej on 29 Mar 2010 #

    The DPRK track just sounds like some hardcore-techno-loving kid has torrented Acid Pro and a few samples and has spent an hour trying to make the HARDCOREST TRACK EVER
    (the last.fm page is good reading BTW – http://www.last.fm/music/Pyongyang+Hardcore+Resistance )
    Octa Push are a clear winner here.

  3. 3
    Matt DC on 29 Mar 2010 #

    Man alive! From the moment I saw the teamsheets I knew there was no way this going to end with 22 men still on the pitch and it turns out I was right. Still, aggression is crucial in football, but so is learning to control that aggression.

    Portugal start off with a GRIMEY two-footed tackle dumping a Korean midfielder on his arse within seconds of the whistle, but there’s a lot of speed and finishing power there as well. What they lack in flair, this Portugal team more than make up for in power, and the results are pretty awesome.

    There’d been whispers before kick-off that discipline might prove to be a problem in the North Korea squad and that’s played out here. They manage to hold themselves together for the national anthem and then they’re off, throwing everything forward. But that leaves them exposed at the back and as soon as Portugal go ahead North Korea go mental, tackles flying in, petulant flicks at opposing players and by the end they’re just elbowing the Portuguese in the face repeately. Three dismissals later and there’s only one small Korean girl left to stop the relentless Portuguese onslaught. She can’t.

  4. 4
    Tom on 29 Mar 2010 #

    Can’t really improve on Matt’s description. They’re getting very agitated back on the BBC commentary sofa, Ken Bruce says it’s a shameful moment for the game and Simon Mayo agrees: there’s no place for this kind of thing in modern pop. I can’t see too many neutrals agreeing though.

  5. 5
    Matt DC on 29 Mar 2010 #

    Over on the sport channel Alan Hansen was heard to have opined that one or two of the North Korea defenders should be shot for the way they’ve been playing. Gary Lineker looked a bit awkward and moved the conversation swiftly on.

  6. 6
    jeff w on 29 Mar 2010 #

    and moved the conversation swiftly on

    …to this, no doubt!

    I am disappointed that Gary could only come up with 15 flavours. What’s wrong with Slovak bryndzové halušky (potato dumplings with sheep’s-milk cheese) flavour crisps? Eh?

  7. 7
    lonepilgrim on 30 Mar 2010 #

    A well drilled but disappointing performance from DPRK that lacks flair and adaptability. Portugal has those qualities in spades and runs rings around the Korean defence before repeatedly finding the net.

  8. 8
    Lex on 30 Mar 2010 #

    A couple of years ago I’d have almost certainly voted POR, but there’s a reason that the dubstep(-not-dubstep) I love in 2010 doesn’t sound like that any more. PRK continue to be entertainingly mental and I want MORE.

  9. 9
    koganbot on 1 Apr 2010 #

    Best match since Serbia’s audacious dark Eastern European freestyle ran up against an insanely great, even darker, even more freestyle, and lighter and brighter Ghana.

    Portugal barges in with a distant descendant of Joey Beltram’s murder beats, which weren’t called murder beats for nothing.* Excellent and twisty in their toughness, they kick up enough turf to dig through to China. Deeper than roots. So North Korea counters and confuses with a JP Sousa-certified marching band, followed by a gaggle of wild geese wielding portable sawmills, the true energy flash, colliding with Portugal and causing mayhem. Got to give it to North Korea for creating the HARDCOREST TRACK EVER!

    *Well, I called them murder beats, don’t know if anyone else did; and I wasn’t getting paid, so I guess they were called murder beats for nothing.

  10. 10
    fernando on 1 Apr 2010 #

    awful, awful rapping on POR side. I’m with north korea on this one, even if their amateurishness can play against them.

  11. 11
    Jonathan Bogart on 2 Apr 2010 #

    The whistle blows before the game is really even underway. The referees are seen to argue furiously with the management. The striker gets called over, and shouting ensues. A yellow card, then a red, and the striker is thrown off the pitch.

    MC Zulu is a Panamanian emigrant to the US, ffs, and doesn’t even speak Portuguese; he spends most of the track upping Panama. Poor form, Portugal.

    Not that the glorious People’s Republic notices. I was nearly prepared to give it to Portugal anyway, just for the beats, but then the NoKo track came on.

  12. 12
    Steve Mannion on 2 Apr 2010 #

    MC Zulu’s own nationality is irrelevant, with the superbly named Octa Push clearly Lisbon thru and thru (well I am trusting their MySpace…but is CRUNKISTAO a real place? hope so).

    That said this is an excruciatingly tough match in every way with both teams entertaining with strength. Only one track compels me to dance, only one track compels me to laugh (tho not necessarily OL). So the battle is Dancing vs Laughing. Which is better? Dancing? or laughing? Dancing…laughing…

  13. 13
    Ben on 4 Apr 2010 #

    Intriguing battle this one… Korea’s somewhat over-aggressive tactics have been commented on previously, and here, it’s leaving them in real danger of finishing the game with only 8 players. But even so, they show tremendous resistance, and it’s taken an absolute belter from Octa Push to win it late on for Portugal. Goal of the tournament thus far, and deserving of winning any encounter.

  14. 14
    Tom on 5 Apr 2010 #

    A win for Portugal, just about with the run of play but really this could have gone either way. I think the Octa Push twitter account may have played a part in this game.

  15. 15
    Steve Mannion on 5 Apr 2010 #

    91 votes! Can we break 100 for a PWC game?

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