So I just stumbled across the impressive effects looking but terribly edited new trailer for the remake of Clash Of The Titans. Here you can see it yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6CJenNMsb4
Yes, that’s right. The tagline is indeed: TITANS WILL CLASH.
Which if I remember the original isn’t exactly what happens. More Epic Heroes will kill stop motion creatures with mirrors. But the Harryhausen film holds a soft spot in my heart, even though Harry Hamlin is no-ones idea of Perseus. Anyhoo: TITANS WILL CLASH. Such a simple formation if only other films did that. We could have seen some of these:
KIDS WILL SPY
VAMPIRES WILL BE INTERVIEWED
TAXIS WILL BE DRIVEN
In the theatre: “This Summer, A SALESMAN WILL DIE”
STARS WILL WAR
WORLDS WILL WAR
AND BRIDES TOO
THE KING WILL RETURN
AS WILL THE JEDI
LAMBS WILL BE SILENCED
LAS VEGAS WILL BE LEFT
PARENTS WILL BE MET
AS WILL FOCKERS
CHINESE BOOKIES WILL BE KILLED
THE EARTH’S CENTRE WILL BE JOURNEYED TO (potentially in 3D)
THE BOURGEOISIE WILL BE CHARMING, DISCREETLY
BILL WILL BE KILLED
NUNS WILL RUN
JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD WILL BE ASSASSINATED
THE SOUP WILL CONSIST OF DUCK
THE FEATHERS WILL COME FROM HORSES
THE OPERA IS WHERE THE NIGHT WILL BE SPENT AT
THE RACES IS WHERE THE DAY SHALL BE SPENT
A PENALTY IS WHAT THE GOALKEEPER WILL BE AFRAID OF
THE FOURTH OF JULY WILL BE BORN ON
THEY WILL BE HAD BY SOME MOTHERS
THE SOUFFLE WILL BE ABOUT
WORRYING WILL BE STOPPED AND THE BOMB LOVED
HEAT WILL BE LIKED BY SOME
LOVE WILL ACCOMPANY YOU AS YOU LEAVE RUSSIA
THE GUN THAT THE MAN HAS WILL BE GOLDEN
MOONS WILL BE RAKED
SPIES WILL LOVE
And finally
GOOD WILL HUNTING
(Thanks to Matt, Eli, Mark S, Tom, Jenn, Tim, Katie, Ewan, Hazel, Kat, Magnus, Meg and Rob for coming up with that list in FIVE MINUTES – comments section is for you…)