Avid readers of Freaky Trigger will be aware that our intermittent at best feature, running down the “Top 100 Songs of all time as voted for in a pub in 2004”. And hopefully haven’t been holding their breath, because they’d be a Long Time Dead by now. Not a hint. So why have we been waiting for so long for this particualr entry. Why number 38?
Well let me show you behind the curtain. No, the list was not broken by Awesome Toys lesser known and not actually real (yet) Do The Fury Boogie. Instead the officially decided Number 38 sat there waiting to be written about. The usual writers looked at it and passed, not being particular fans. But that’s OK, we have an extended gang of people who would happily write about it, who must have voted for it. So we waited for them to write it. And it did not happen. Which can mean only one thing.
Punka – by Kenickie is not the thirty eighth best single of all time. Not even in the rarified atmosphere of upstairs in the Jeremy Bentham after a pub crawl. We have been proven wrong by history because its impossible to write an article saying how good Punka is. So instead, we have a deal for you dear reader.
38 is up for grabs. You have until 12 noon tomorrow to put your own suggestion in the comments thread below, and then we will do a poll to decide what the 38th best single of all time is. Think of it as a dry run for the US election. And whatever wins I will haoppily write how great it is.
ONE WARNING however. If the chosen song turned out to be in the top thirty, it will get moved down and a whole new election will take place. Bearly a warning but keep it in mind. In the meantime remember, Punka – proven rubbish by science…
*applause*
I seem to recall that Punka was cynically nominated by a hater in order to fix it this low, lest it turn up in the top ten WHERE IT BELONGS.
I nominate Punka, by Kenicke.
Just kidding!
I almost wrote you a review of Punka, but I got sidetracked by other things. Probably for the best as the ‘review’ was more a rambling description of an underage drinking, glitter eyeshadow and fishnet wearing and homemade miniskirted gig going me. It was different in those days.
Anyway, the 38th best song is clearly Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. Unless we’ve already had it, that is. I do not recall.
How about the Sugarcubes “Birthday”, if that isn’t #1?
“Baby I Need Your Loving” by the Four Tops. Contains the lyric ‘When you see me smiling, you’ll know things have gotten worse’, which is the most emo lyric ever in one of the most non-emo songs of all time. Just because the Tops are drowning in a miasma of liquid loneliness doesn’t mean they need to stop snapping those fingers! You can’t lose your cool in that situation.
You know it as the BT advert from back in the day. I know it as ‘In The Meantime’ by Spacehog. Somehow, in the mid-90s, glam had a brief re-emergence in the charts, and Spacehog, with their high profile celebrity girlfriends (Kate Moss and Liv Tyler at the time), along with Placebo led the revival.
I nominate… So many to choose from… ‘Sweet Takin’ Guy’ by The Chiffons. Very short, very bittersweet, very Bronx: both girlgroup sassy and northern soul springy.
Oh those girls just know how enticing he is; “Sweeter than sugar, kisses like wine – oh he’s so fine!” Even though he’ll send you flowers and paint the town with another guy, and all his sweet talk is mere sweet talkin’ lies.
Then the swoony, worldly wise question where all three voices suddenly unify; “Why do I love him like I do – ooh?”
And towards the end there’s a tremendous payoff. I know of few lines in pop delivered with the force of lived experience than the warning;
“STAY AWAY FRON HIM! STAY AWAY FROM HIM! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!”
There’s such a sense of life lived and lessons learned in this glorious song.
OK, nominations have closed. Lets wait for the poll to see which is the best…
I put it to you that it is in fact this method of presenting (as opposed to compiling, this was obv. v sound) the list that has been proven rubbish by science.
Ouch. Harsh. Millionaire Sweeper by Kenickie would have got my vote. “Hey Punka, I’ve got ambition” does make me wince, even if it was patently true – Lauren Laverne to replace Jonathan Ross?
hurhur, barely even the 38th best Kenicke song.
Punka isn’t even the 38th best Kenickie song…SK8brd Song, now that’s a classic…