Mika is a pop wunderkind isn’t he? Not content with “trying a little Freddie” in his intercontental balistic miss of a single Grace Kelly, he is now – er – trying a little Freddie in his Fat Bottom Girls rip “Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)”. Now I’m not a big girl, which means I should be safe from his grasping hands. Though actually he’s probably trying a little Freddie in his sexual proclivities as well. You don’t have to be gay to rip-off the Scissor Sisters, but it helps.

But his sexuality is not what the cover of Life In Cartoon Motion is trying to tell us. Look at its poorly scrawled jumble of second hand Sesame Street link sections. Possibly you can hear the chimes of the “One Two Three Four Five…” song. (I rather imagine the digital countdown of a classic movie style bomb but each to their own).
But despite being poorly drawn there is an awful lot going on. Perhaps the man on the sofa is trying to tell us to sit down before we unleash this awful weapon on our ears. The little girl in the party dress may be hinting on Mika’s inner self, screaming and screaming until we are sick. The cogs poking out from behind the rainbow stripes may be suggesting that underneath this colourful package is a machinelike marketing campaign allowing him “to try a little Freddie” for the rest of his life. And even slipping in a little self effacing picture of himself on the side looking for all the world like the offspring of Brian May and Anita Dobson (and maybe a little Freddie).

But for once we are looking too closely. We need to take this album cover as a whole, and its secret message soon becomes more than clear. The cover of Life In Cartoon Motion can only have one meaning, and it is one which is glaringly obvious.

Mika is blind.