As we all know the square root of sausage is square sauasge! But what I didn’t know until today that an alias of square sausage was “Lorne sausage”! It certainly doesn’t say that on the packaging of my square sausage – which is charmingly shaped just like a sliced loaf of sausage and produced by Belchers. Genuine Scottish Square Sausage, it advertises on the side. At least 21% pork! Oh, happy memories of my childhood, eating square sausage in my friend L’s kitchen with chips and beans.

WELL CLEARLY MY CHILDHOOD LIES because I had the square sossidge with scrambled eggs and peas the other night and it was unpleasant! Don’t say I have become a meat snob!!

Clearly I am the one to fault anyway because I didn’t have it with chips and beans and fried bread and black pudding and and and and I’m afraid I have to go away now. But if you want square sausage yourselves – MORRISSONS. And whilst you are in the freezer aisle why not also pick up some Mr Brainses faggots? CRUMBS I’m hungry today… still – 12 slices left to go!

Pumpkin Publog