Welcome to my new quiz for music fans, where if you win I will send you all the hated music I have “liberated” from the Virgin Megastore but would not fit in the dustcart when it came on Friday. Clearly I cannot have the music lying around in my house, it would mark me out as the worst kind of hypocrite. Equally I cannot just leave it in the street where some innocent young whippersnapper may pick it up and suddenly start liking Akon. So instead here is a picture poser for the music fan. Send your name, address and when you are likely to be in so I can kill yet another another accursed music fan deliver your prize.
So this weeks question is simple: What’s That Coming Over The Hill?
is it mid 90s chart botherers “Right Said Fred”?
Nope. Think more literally. That said: it would be trebuchets at the ready if it were the baldy bad guys Right Said Fred, being the worst of bands A BAND NAMED AFTER ANOTHER SONG. BY BERNARD CRIBBINS.
Deeply Dippy? Deeply Shitty more like.
But its not them.
Is it Rise Up Like The Sun by the Albion Band?
I bet it’s something I don’t know like Sunn:0(((((
That folkie bunch of no hopers? I always liked the way they split up in 2002 because of lack of venues to play in. IT WAN’T LACK OF VENUES: it was lack of punters for your fiddly-diddly-di-do nonsense?
No. Its not the Albion Band.
Is it a honey monster?
is it another think?
I know! I know! It’s a ROCK LOBSTER.
Is it Bond Berglund, enigmatic frontman of seldom-cited ’80s pre-post-rock trio Saqqara Dogs?
None correct so far, though the closest so far has been Dr Thompson. My views on a so-called Rock Lobster have already been made clear here:
https://freakytrigger.co.uk/hate/2004/05/tanyas-round-of-rubbishthe-b-52s/
As for Bond Berglund and the Saqqarra Dogs, there is a reason he is being enigmatic. I had a Thirst for his blood in the late 80’s.
is it MONSTERMOUTH?
Christ: even I have never heard of Monstermouth. Why should I hate them (beyond the obvious that they are clearly a no-mark indie band).
haha, it’s OK tanya, my BRANE seems to have made them up.
i think i meant: is it MONSTERMOUTH by the popinjays?
No, nothing by the hateful tweecore of the POP (pshaw!) injays. Popinancrematoriumfire more like.
OH NO, ITS COMING OVER THE HILL MORE!!!
A giant insectoid head sucking on the back of a hill?
It must be an I Monster!
WHAT’S THAT COMING OVER THE HILL?
IS IT “I MONSTER”.
Yes, its I Monster and their embarrassingly titled album NEVERODDOREVEN. It clearly should have been entitled NEVERANYGOOD. Its the album that contains the laziest use of a sample ever, Daydream, which even the Beta Band (a band not well known for ever being creative) though might be jazzed up buy their somnambulant rapping. Cheapskate sampledelic losers who never had another hit, clearly coming over the hill to play their one minor hit at us, again and again and again…
Here’s the full album cover for you:
Well done Monofiopia if you would like to send you Name, Address and Particular Allergies to me at tanyaheadon@yahoo.co.uk I will rush you prize to you as soon as possible. Or at least as soon as this persistent Tanquery banging allows.
Look out for more Tanya’s Teasers in the next couple of weeks.
daydream in blue by i monster was such a cool song before some idiot decided to make it into a rap record.
i call shenanigans! i would have got that if you hadn’t waited til i was on holiday AS WELL YOU KNEW. also i preferred the original cover