Things that did not happen in COBRAPLANE II, what we saw in the cinema on Tuesday, which really should have happened.
-The really big Anaconda should have tried to eat the plane.
-The should have made a rope ladder out of dead snakes.
-They should have crashed on a mysterious desert island and sicced the snakes on The Others. And/Or use the snakes to write HELP on the beach.
-Use a snake as a whip.
-A snake eating an egg (It is still the best thing ever)
-Be attacked by eels – and then discount it for not be a snake : AND THEN GET ELECTROCUTED BY IT.
-Have a cameo by Snake Plissken.
-More snakeskin clothing confusion shenanigans.
-Realise that as cold blooded creatures it is easy to subdue snakes by turning the temperature down.
-Whilst penis and breast get a good look in, no-one pulled a snake out of their anus and for that the film fails.
-Someone should have mistaken a snakeskin handbag for a snake, or vice versa.
-It lacked a mysterious Arab character who the punters may initially pitch as a terrorist who later saves the day due to not at all stereotypical knowledge of snake charming – and/or Indian Rope Trick.
-NO JASON STATHAM, LOSE A STAR.