On the surface this story should make me happy. After all, one less performance of “Imagine” in the world is something to celebrate – a drop in the ocean but a tiny step forward towards the world Lennon dreamed of. “Imagine all the people, living life in peace AND QUIET.” as he no doubt meant to write.

BUT look more closely – this news conceals an abhorrent crime. On a day on which Tony Blair* pledged stiffer sentences for child abusers he should look closely at this Devon school. “The children had been rehearsing the song for weeks”. That is weeks more than J.Lennon took to write or think about it! How can it possibly take “weeks” to learn “Imagine”? The song was specifically and poisonously designed that even the most semolina-brained dribbler could grasp its universal message: even brats from the county that gave us Joss Stone should have had it wrapped up in half a lesson. No, what the BBC have unwittingly uncovered here is a Guantanamo-style correction camp.

*incidentally I am glad that nobody now trusts him. Where were you in May 1997, though, when your correspondent was barred from an all night election party just for shouting “At least Portillo wasn’t in a band!”.