“Shakira! Shakira!” Wyclef Jean shouts all over this record, like a half blind old man stumbling around in the dark looking for his missing grand-daughter. Perhaps he got lost in the studios during the recording of Oral Fixation? Funny Shakira should call her album that as I have an oral fixation with Shakira herself. Mainly to punch her in the gob. 

Wyclef for once is not the worst thing on a record he guests on. The worst thing is clearly its title. I agree in principle. Shakira is, strictly, correct. Hips Don’t Lie. But there is a logical fallacy inherent in the question. Much as Bertrand Russell pointed out regarding statements about “The King Of France”, the phrase is misleading. “The King Of France” is an empty signifier, as are Shakira’s talking hips. Hips don’t lie, because HIPS CAN’T TALK. Much like the old Western phrase “Dead Men Tell No Lies”. Because DEAD MEN CAN’T TALK. Put it like this Shaky, Hips can’t tell the truth either.

Still, I am aware than English is her second language, and she might not have had much help with the single. So lets put it pictures for her. 

Shakira and her  Hips must contain a Norf'n'southto lie.

Speaking out of your arse isn’t good enough.