I was hoping to find something funny on Popjustice talking about the awful, awful UK Eurovision entry (tousle-haired sensitive lad with guitar doing ballad), but no such luck. I can’t blame them, it’s a miserable prospect: the people in charge of doing the UK Eurovision entry don’t understand how much the standards of Europop have risen since the Diggi-Loo days of yore. (France doesn’t have hole in the ground toilets any more, either).

I don’t actually care that much (no really!) but it would be nice to have a good record to cheer on again. Every Eurovision turns into a ‘good guy’/’bad guy’ brawl where the good guy is some sparky bit of New Europe pop eccentricity and where the bad guy is a monstrous lump of sensitive gloop. Jamie Fox may do very well but only by casting himself as the villain.