B-b-but Tim what about the Black Eyed Peas? Was sad upon actually seeing local video for local street children by Black Eyed Peas that they were a rather earnest “killings be bad” (and that’s a good thing [har har]) collective rather than a modern day take on the Poddington Peas but there you go.

I am attempting to form a new theory of MEANING IT in p!o!p!. Here is my sliding scale:

1. The Busted/Miss McKenzie axis – it’s for the kids! See also 16 Again by the Buzzcocks (a song which my neighbours DON’T wake me up with every morning unlike sodding Busted dear residents of xx $east_london_road, please GET YOUR DAUGHTER to the slaughter a new cd).

2. The Kevin Rowland in a dress theorem – he means it so much he wears a DRESS (see also Nicky Wire actually you may not if you’ve just eaten). Symptoms of this theorem may also include perplexing wearing of dungarees and attempting to dance to Northern Soul. Like a twat.

3. The ELOIIIIIISE! axiom. This hinges on massive over emoting. Mostly mentioned due to ridiculous tracklisting on Hits Ov 1986. What’s the logical choice to follow gaybo anthem SO MACHO by that Sinita? Obviously it is ELOISE by the DAMMED. Other references include Kate Bush hurrah and the Darkness.

4. Last Dance by Disco Inferno. Apparently they are a band from the old days who lots of people consider underated. I think they’re a bunch of willfully noisy fuxx who one day were bitten by the Song Snake and created something which makes me stop! in the middle of what I’m doing and makes me want to lie down in front of the speaker. I wonder if they’ve ever considered playing it to tame wild TIGERS?

5. If you’ve got to 5 I don’t think you mean it enough. Now go make a record or something!

NB to all future band members it is best to contain a little from each tenet. Ho ho. Send embarassing attempts to the usual address. Although I’m not sure if you should trust anyone who recently discovered yesterday that they LOVE Breakfast of Champions by uber-wannabe-emo-but-they-are-british-heigh-ho brats ECONOLINE. Even their name screams indie rubbidge. But at least it is real indie YAY! How do people get away with such poor recordings these days? I’m all for it of course – there’s less chance of you actually hearing their indie whinging over the fuzz. Marvellous.