JUNIOR SENIOR – “Chicks And Dicks”

2003 is – commerically speaking – the Year Of The Ambiguous Pop Duo. t.A.T.u. are the most important band in Europe, of course; the White Stripes are at number one; Junior Senior’s “Move Your Feet” looks set to be in the Top 10 until the Last Trump sounds and even when it does it’ll probably be accompanied by the hokey yelling of a bearded Dane. Even Erasure are having hits again. (MORE PROOF that these concepts are buzzing round the UK’s morphic fields – in the pub last night we were posing the question “What if Prince Harry joined a synth duo?”)

Junior Senior though need to make that next level push for immortality. The White Stripes have launched several new magazines and a whole radio station; tATu have done well in magazines too, sort of; but JS’ bumbling jollity extends from music to gimmick – they put their cards on the table too quickly. “Hey gay, get outta my way! / Hey straight, you’re always too late!”. If this is a single – and it should be – the video needs to be joyfully, pansexually, filthy.

Meanwhile, where will Duomania strike next? According to HEAT magazine (thanks Emma!) we’re promised “big twists” for Pop Idol 2. I think that the winner and runner up should only get their fat contracts if they have to form a duo, especially if they hate each other. Especially if one of them has to stand behind a bank of synths/drumkit. Especially especially if they have to secretly marry…et cetera: pop comes up with its own beautiful gimmicks with no need of TV’s help, is this year’s lesson, but the reality boys could at least try and stay in the game.