The thing you notice driving into Paris is that you never see the word ‘Paris’; you just see more and more and bigger buildings with huger adverts glowing from their rooftops; more neon, more glow and gloss; each billboard a little more chic than the last; nothing to say ‘You Are Here’, just the pulse and surface beauty of a great city gradually overtaking you. Except – of course – the traffic seizes and thickens as you approach, its torpid flow dulling the majesty. But imagine if it was night, and the road was empty save for you?
34. ONE T AND COOL T — ‘The Magic Key’
This is one of the twee-est records I have ever heard. It is a Euro-rap tune by a small boy who dies too soon on ‘the street’ and then goes to heaven from where he delivers lines like ‘Had a meeting with my maker / The superhuman baker / He popped me in the oven / And set the dial to lovin”. It makes ‘Where Is The Love?’ sound like ‘Shook Ones Part II’ and yes I adore it. Not on an emotional level — in fact if I read back my description I feel a bit sick — but just because it’s so, so pretty, a sparkly confection of tweenypop hooks that I find irresistible. ‘But it’s about somebody DYING!’ says Isabel in horror every time I play it — I try and reply but my cheeks are stuffed with marshmallow.
33. CLEARLAKE — ‘Almost The Same’
The music on this is totally old school indie, Bizarro-style, which obviously I have no complaints about, but the thing with Clearlake is always, always the guy’s absolutely remarkable voice. Lugubrious isn’t quite the word — he has a pureness of tone that stops him sounding precisely miserable but still the overwhelming impression is of damp flannel, leaves clogging drains, comforting cups of tea and resigned shrugs. In its Pooterish way it’s actually quite sensuous.
32. JAMELIA — ‘Superstar’
One of the very few times someone messaged me on Soulseek it was about Jamelia. ‘U HAVE TO TAKE ‘SUPERSTAR’ OFF YOUR FOLDER’ it said. Wow! I thought, busted for copyright fraud by Jamelia’s street team! Time for a showdown with The Man! ‘Why?’ I answered. ‘BCOS SHES IN POP AND SHES NOT POP’. Oh, alright then.
Actually though, she’s pop. And as such a little bit hard to write about. If t is the no. of times you want to hear the chorus to ‘Superstar’ in your life and n is the number of times you have heard it then appreciation a is equal to t — n. The result of this equation tells me that ‘Superstar’ is my 32nd favourite song this year. There is something very English, very London about Jamelia, though — not the vibrant bits of London but the ordinary bits like Colliers Wood or Wandsworth High Street, with their Woolies and their Dallas Chickens.
31. GRAFITI — ‘What Is The Problem’
On this monstrous thread Anthony Miccio wags his finger at conceptual dance records. He would really hate this one, a funny record about a nagging argument which sounds like being jabbed repeatedly in the chest by a fuming keyboard. Nobody online seems sure whether this was a Streets rip-off or side project: as with Mike Skinner, it’s the shabby vocals that make the tune. A touch harder, or a shade whinier, and ‘What Is The Problem’ would have been insufferable — as is, it’s a motion-capture of total frustration.