Much has been made of my flinty personality. Tanya, people say couched in the armour of booze you seem to be a pretty tough cookie. After setting them straight vis a vis the provenance of cookies and the far more preferable biscuit, I admit to their bruise visage that yes, perhaps I could be seen as a self-sufficient, ball-breaking kind of woman. Examples of balls I have broken recently have been propelling Justin Timberlake and The Darkness up the pop charts. But how did I come to be this way.
Well, let us look at two other single minded, tough girls. Look, there is the Betty Spaghetti of pop, Christina Aguilera. And the kiddie pants buying Brummie R&B siren Jamelia. What have these hard honeys got in common. Well they have both recently released records explaining that their strength comes from being hurt. Physically, emotionally by ex-partners and in Christina’s case at least, make-up artists. Indeed it is key to hear exactly how this relationship has made a six million dollar woman out of Aggie:
Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
Frankly going out with a crap bloke gives you a veritable SHAZAM! of superpowers. Notably though it did not make her any prettier. In comparison Jamelia merely gets a bit stronger because of the million ways her fella hurt her. Perhaps though, with this being her only power, it’s a bit like The Hulk. Certainly she always seems to be bursting out of her clothes. Perhaps Jamelia is strongest of them all.
But no. Of course this is not why I have this tough personality. At least not exactly. No man has ever left me in tears, that is my job. There is a reason most bands take two years to make a record, and that is the time it takes to get over my vicious personal attacks. But I suppose when I realised that I literally could not stand music; well there was the first cut. And as we know, that cut is the deepest. The over 50 million blows that is everyone who ever turns a radio on has made me a touch defensive. So maybe I have been made stronger by the constant lash of tunes on my poor brain. And perhaps it has made me a fighter. But unlike the abuse loving Aguilera and Jamelia, I’m not saying thank you.