Imagine if films had a money back guarantee. Well, Cinderella Man, the Russell Crowe depressingdepression boxing movie is being re-released with one. But that’s an actorly film, and this is the studio trying to back a film they think should not be a flop. Now imagine you could get a money back guarantee on these films: Hollow Man, Vertical Limit, A Knight’s Tale, The Animal, or The Patriot.

Well, you can. Or at least you can if you went to see them in the cinema way back when, and you can prove that your decision to go see them was down to the reviews of Mr David Manning. The level of proof required seems minimal, to non-existent if the claim form is to be believed. This is because David Manning never existed. Instead it was a way of Sony puffing their own lousy pictures. And Sony got taken to court and lost. And looking at that list, lousy barely describes them*.

I just wonder exactly what David Manning COULD say to make me see a Rob Schneider comedy about a man given rubbish animal powers. Or a mountaineering film where you are willing Chris O’Donnell to fall off a mountain constantly. Or a Mel Gibson film where he single handedly wins the US War of Independence by painting his face blue or something. Or a film which posits the reason anyone would want to become invisible is to watch girls undress. He had to be some sweet talker.
(Clearly I wish that this offer was available to me, as I have seen all of these films.)

*With the honourable exception of A Knight’s Tale which is a much better way of getting kids into Chaucer than this.