Re-rewind! Pausing midway through the main blurbs to go back and fill in another 10 of the nearly-made-its…
70. ORLANDO – “Just For A Second” (1996)
We’re now into the section of tracks which had a real, honest-to-goodness chance of actually making my list of 50, which is partly why I’m running them now the UncoolTwo50 challenge is well advanced and there’s no chance of me saying “WAIT! I’ve been a fool! What this challenge needs is an obscure Romo single!”. ROMANTIC MODERNISM (for it is they) was a failed attempt at a post-Britpop counterstrike, but it did give us this gloriously flouncy synthpop single, very much in the tradition of Soft Cell, or perhaps Morrissey fronting the Pet Shop Boys. Much of the backing sounds like it was two pounds fifty well spent, but the truly stylish man needs no expensive production to convince.
69. FUTURE SOUND OF LONDON – “Papua New Guinea” (1991)
Very much at the banging end of ambient dub techno, this has one of the best basslines of the 1990s and is a startling creation even for the explosively inventive hardcore era. The main thing holding me back was not quite being able to find a mix I liked – the single version is too truncated, the full 12” faffs around a little too much before getting to the sonar blips, Dead Can Dance siren calls, and breakbeat muscle that makes up the meat of it. (I’m also still a little put off by remembering what dickheads FSOL were about jungle in general a couple of years later).
68. DONNIE IRIS – “Ah! Leah” (1980)
Got to admit, I’m not a big power pop guy, but this track from the 1980 poll really won my heart. Partly it’s that it’s so chunky, over-the-top and sincere it feels like it must be from some kind of power pop equivalent of Spinal Tap, fire/desire rhymes and all.
67. GRACE JONES – “Private Life” (1980)
I sensed there would be some vote splitting for (ladies and gentlemen) Miss Grace Jones and I was right in my hunch that this pick would only add to it. But even if it’s not the most danceable or innovative of her singles, it’s the most beautifully forbidding. Jones takes Chrissie Hynde’s world-weary dismissal of some drama-addicted hanger-on (or friend or lover) and gives it an Emma Frost style diamond form. “I’m very superficial, I hate everything official”
66. EARTH WIND AND FIRE – “Fantasy” (1977)
There’s a bunch of disco high up on my list and it was sad to leave off this extraordinary prog-soul-disco tune, which feels like it’s descended to us from a wiser, more enlightened parallel 1970s. A sculpture of formidable beauty thanks to its nested choruses, both brilliant.
65. JAY-Z – “Big Pimpin” (1999)
Two more problematic contenders now. With a heavy heart I had to admit two things to myself. First, that this track is hands down my favourite Timbaland production of the period under consideration, a Wacky Races jalopy of a beat which guest stars Pimp C and Bun B in particular make their own. Second, that like Jay-Z himself I am now of an age where it is difficult for me to stand up and rep for “Big Pimpin’”
64. CUTTY RANKS – “Limb By Limb” (1993)
https://youtu.be/tPeCHvAJCEQ?si=nKKW3U9Qdb3u_bsj
This was a tricky one – it was in my original Uncool50 and was in the new list too until quite late. It’s my favourite dancehall performance ever, full of brutal, mile-high swagger, and I really wanted something like it in the fifty. BUT. Googling it there’s a strong feeling among some writers that this is a song like Buju Banton’s “Boom Bye Bye”, calling for the murder of gay people. Now, “Boom Bye Bye” is explicit about that, to the extent that Discogs won’t let you trade it any more, and you can still sell “Limb By Limb”. I think the lyrics aren’t specific on this – I’d always heard the violence as metaphorical and directed at rival MCs, but that’s my luxury as a British genre tourist, and it’s very possible Ranks went on record as saying yes, it’s about gays. In the end I just wasn’t comfortable including it in the final list, so I dropped it partway through and put in “On A Ragga Tip” instead.
63. ACT – “Snobbery And Decay” (1987)
I don’t know whether it’s decadence of my own that’s made me come round to this opinion but dammit, this is better than any of the Propaganda singles. It’s funnier, it’s nastier, it’s got a better tune, its 12” remix (the definitive one, as usual) has some structure to it rather than being a collection of gorgeously expensive sounds. Not that the Propaganda singles are bad, heaven forbid, but this is Claudia Brucken’s finest moment.
62. NENEH CHERRY – “Manchild” (1989)
One of the frustrations in the original Uncool50 exercise was voting for this gorgeous, sad, empathic meditation on toxic masculinity (years before I’d met the idea, of course) and being the only person voting for it in the rush to pick “Buffalo Stance”. Which is great! But I love “Manchild” more. So this time I decided to take my ball back home and of course I’ve seen other people choose it.
61. WOMACK AND WOMACK – “Love Wars” (1984)
I regret a bit how little room I found for soul music on this list compared to the 1954-1976 challenge. This is one of the great soul singles of the UncoolTwo50 period, music that (like the also excellent “Teardrops”) came from a place which was just too grown-up for me to remotely get at the time. The ad libs and backing vocals on the chorus are what put this one in contention.