STOP THIS NAMING FILMS AFTER SONGS WHICH DO NOT APPEAR IN THE FILM FILTH NOW.

Why did I go and see Welcome To The Jungle? Was part of me swayed by the temptation of hearing Guns’n’Roses really loud on the Warner Village sound system. Actually no, it was the prospect of seeing another low budget Sean William Scott action movie that did it. Nevertheless, I did feel slightly cheated when the final credits rolled and the song did not appear. Much like Save The Last Dance, Two Can Play That Game and Killing Me Softly, this trend seems to get worse as the songs get better. The suggestion is that a mere song title has some how gained the level of proverb and therefore can be used as a film title. This is false advertising.

Welcome To The Jungle would have been a film which would have sorted my family out as a video choice in 1988. Action and violence for me and my dad. Comedy for me and my sister. A little bit of romance for my mum, but not too much bloodshed. Radical anti-slavery and sweat shop politics for me. A thoroughly competent action comedy. And some days, I do not want any more. Considering, as his brief cameo does, that this was the kind of film Arnie used to make, his replacement here The Rock is so much better. He can speak English. He does self-deprication. Unfortunately though he is an ex-wrestler and hence the overlong fight scenes are as cartoonish as those in wrestling. With the emphasis on somewhat unpleasant sound effects.

Consider though. You have the Rock for fighting. You have Sean William Scott for comedy. You have Christopher Walken as a bad guy (palying loopy to the hilt). You even have poor old Rosario Dawson as the spunky heroine (she should change her agent maybe, with Men In Black 2, and Pluto Nash on her CV this may well be her best film). A low budget which makes the most of its second and third hand script. There will be an awful lot of this summrs event movies which will be much, much worse than this. Thoroughly derivative, far too noisy, but man alive what fun. Just no Guns’N’Roses.

*My research has shown that Welcome To The Jungle was known in the US as The Rundown, which is an even worse title as people do not get run down in it. Only stampeded by bulls.