17
Aug 04

WASPS WOULD BE RUBBISH ON ROBOT WARS

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 336 views

WASPS WOULD BE RUBBISH ON ROBOT WARS

Not just because they are not robots, because in word, deed and attitude they are barely seperate from the Cyberman’s old pets Cybermats*. No-one like wasps after all. They look evil, sting and are always inordinately interested in whatever it us you are eating. Whatever it is. Bees people quite like. They are fuzzy, bumbly and slow. Natures underdogs who cannot fly according to science, people like bees. They understand bees, and they like honey. Wasps on the other hand have a nasty name, malevolent shape and do not seem to do anything useful**.

Which is why on my trip to the countryside, I was interested to finally see how wasps die. After all, wasps have no natural predators. Not even humans, since on the whole we run like gurls whenever one with its frankly tiny amount of venom gets near us. Ditto with all other animals large enough to have been stung. The wasps sting is a perfect piece of evolution. But evolution has not perfected every aspect of the wasps anatomy. Evolution has dropped the ball on one of the key aspects of insect life. Ijn this case mother Nature is not as good as some geeky engineering students from Lancaster University. The wasp has no self righting mechanism.

Ever wonder why you always find dead wasps on window sills? I know, I have seen this happen.
STAGE 1: Wasp annoys you when eating.
STAGE 2: Cocky wasp buggers off for a bit. Usually followed by a swift return to stage one but occasionally we end up at
STAGE 3: Wasp flies into windowpane. Dazes itself and falls on to the windowsill.
STAGE 4: Unfortunate wasp discovers that it is on its back and flaps wings desperately in an attempt to self right. Fails. Spins round like a breakdancer with a pin through its guts. After about an hour it dies.

No Srimech (as the Jonathon Pierce would call it on Robot Wars), no evolutionary advantage. The closest the Earth has evolved to the Alien in Alien is not so all powerful after all.

* Why emotionless beings needed pets was always a touch beyond me, but they did make them nasty.
** They actually eat tiny insects like aphids which are quite useful.

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