It’s back! Well, it never went away, but apparently iconic 80s drink Taboo is set for a makeover, building on the launch of “Taboo Blue” last year (not in the boozers I frequent). If you’re 18-24 and a lady you might want to look out for this as there is a huge taboo target painted on you.

(No word of Mirage, though.)

For our male readers aged 25 and over – and let’s face it this is most of you – Guinness is launching the “Guinness Surger”, an ultrasonic plug-in gadget which for seventeen quid will allow you to ‘activate the settle’ in your home-consumed Guinness and create the perfect pint. If you think this sounds a little desperate you’d be right – parent company D1ag3o is in trouble and a collapse in interest in Guinness is a big part of it. Maybe drinkers are just sick of stout?