I Hate Music
My name is Tanya Headon. I hate music. All of it. And I’m bloody good at what I do. Which is why, when picketing a gig of The Feeling I managed to get over 90% of the fans to agree with me that they are just soft rock bobbins and their new album is just the Eagles comeback album with a different sleeve on.
But there is always 10% of idiots who cannot and will not see or hear the light. So when one ugly Feeling fan, and his trophy girlfriend (if the trophy looked like a rhombus) attacked me. Usually I would have been able to defend myself, but after a long lunch on the gin and clove, I was not quite on my game. They managed to pin me down a physically attacked me with an mp3 of the Feelings new single until I was left bruised and bloody outside Koko. I suppose I had it coming, I had left a member of Koko’s bar staff in a similar situation when the charged me eight pounds for a gin and tonic. Still to be knocked senseless by a fan of The Feeling. It was embarrassing, as I faded out of consciousness.