17
Dec 09

On Chart Battles And Christmas

FT43 comments • 1,341 views

One of the many arguments offered as to why The X-Factor is a Bad Thing for pop is that Simon Cowell has taken the fun out of the race for Xmas No.1. It strikes me that this is a little rose-tinted – was anybody really that enthused with said “race” in the pre-Cowell days? Of course the Christmas market has been very important to the record industry, because so many units shift then. And in that context the idea of “the christmas no.1” was a good bit of marketing – sell a few more records by alerting people to the fact these singles was in the shops with a bit of press coverage and a 3-minute slot on Newsround. Did people enjoy this stuff? Absolutely! Did they care? That I’m less sure of. So maybe people are just sad that a bit of marketing razzle-dazzle they enjoyed has been swapped for a bit of marketing razzle-dazzle other people enjoyed. Nothing wrong with that, if so – the roots of any ‘tradition’ are likely to involve a bit of opportunism on somebody’s part.

But very possibly I’m wrong. I’d love to hear people’s experiences of these struggles for Christmas No.1. A quick straw poll of Christmas #1 races suggests two in particular have stuck in the mind. The first is 1987, when “Fairytale Of New York” didn’t quite make it. The other is 2003, when The Darkness’ kitschy “Christmas Time” was narrowly beaten by Gary Jules. Between those two, precious little – I remember the BBC trying to make a thing of it when Bob The Builder and Eminem were in contention in 2000.

But between “Fairytale” and the Darkness something else happened. “Fairytale” has joined the Christmas inescapables, but it anticipates more recent trends in Xmas chart activity: it was pushed towards #1 not just because it was Christmas but also because it was unorthodox: a slap in the face of Christmas as well as an embrace of it. That’s what makes the record so appealing – but since 1987 it’s the unorthodoxy that’s generally powered those “Christmas #1 races” which have caught the interest.

“Stan”, “Mad World”, “Killing In The Name”: not only are none of these records Christmassy, they’re all the kind of bleak or mordant or angry songs that represent a sort of anti-festive option. Records like these don’t normally do well at Christmas, except there’s now a mini-tradition of them doing precisely that, and “Mad World” took the anti-option all the way to the top. The song it beat, “Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)”, was an arch attempt to make and mimic an old school Christmas record. So by 2003 (and probably before) the whole idea of “Christmas No.1” had become a playground – a caricature of “Christmas music” against a self-conscious opposition to it. Is this the ‘tradition’ Simon Cowell is meant to be overturning?

Seems to me the idea of the “chart battle” is a fairly recent one, born out of a particular pop era. The excitement of the charts used to be less gladiatorial – you would hope your favourites would climb to the top, and maybe curse the rubbish that kept them off it, but nobody really talks about a “battle” between Engelbert and the Beatles, or Joe Dolce and Ultravox.

No, the battle is a creature of first-week-sales and known release dates: two records going “head to head” in the knowledge that the one which doesn’t make it won’t get a second crack at the top. Blur vs Oasis is the classic example: Sophie Ellis-Bextor vs Victoria Beckham another. If you can get a storyline in there, so much the better (for your sales too).

It’s interesting to me that some people are seeing RATM v X-Factor as an enjoyable callback to those battles, because they’re an example of “chart culture” that for once doesn’t date from the golden age of the 70s and 80s. Instead it comes from the supposedly devalued Top 40s of the 90s and 00s. And in a tiny way this is important: after all, the story of the charts isn’t just the story of what’s popular: it’s the story of what being popular means, and the narrative that’s recently come to define that meaning is the one laid down by my generation, who grew up with records that gently rose and fell. But the rhetoric around the RATM one seems a bit younger, more in tune with a chart defined by head-to-head fights and big quick events.

Nostalgia for the Christmas No.1 is partly a nostalgia for all of this chart culture, old and less old – the Xmas Top Of The Pops is the only one that’s left, after all. The meaning of popularity is changing again, and the ways it’s expressed and recognised will change along with it. One irony of the X-Factor fight is that it’s surely keeping the Christmas single sales boost alive: physical copies now account for a minute fraction of single sales, and as far as I know few are giving MP3s for Xmas. When the present market goes, the resonance of “Christmas Number One” goes with it. We’ll have to find new places to do battle in.

Comments

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  1. 26
    abaffledrepublic on 19 Dec 2009 #

    Besides Blur/Oasis and Spiller/Posh, there was also the chart battle which saw Westlife (another Cowell signing) lose out to Bob the Builder for that year’s Christmas No1. Cowell’s way of doing things hasn’t changed, his group’s release being timed to enter the Christmas chart at the top, as most singles did in the immediate pre-downloading era, and in the same arrogant expectation that it would have a clear run. As far as I can remember, Bob’s single was already in the chart, and actually climbed to the top, holding off Westlife in the process. Just as some of those downloading RATM will be doing so to spite Cowell, so I’m sure people who bought Bob (for their little niece, natch) did so to stop the Westlife procession.

    #18: Cowell’s rise from record company suit to media star seems to be part of the wider trend of the lionisation of businessmen and the worship of money-making. Ten years ago, could anybody have named the head of Topshop? Nowadays he gets to squire Kate Moss around the gossip columns. They get TV series which fan their egos by showing them as all-powerful, bold and swashbuckling, yet at the same time prudent and with their eyes on the bottom line. They also get TV series designed to show what caring, sharing generous guys they are. As though any of that stops them from being utterly charmless bores. Why can’t they just piss off and count their money?

  2. 27
    fivelongdays on 19 Dec 2009 #

    Tom @ 25 – Oh. God. Yes.

  3. 28
    fivelongdays on 20 Dec 2009 #

    That’s a big spunking cock on Mr Cowell’s whiteboard, drawn in permanent marker.

  4. 29
    lonepilgrim on 20 Dec 2009 #

    re 25 & 27 – fear not – Andrew WK does contribute to this festive remake:

    http://pitchfork.com/news/37335-fucked-ups-all-star-charity-benefit-single-available-now/

  5. 30
    swanstep on 20 Dec 2009 #

    Ok, so is KITNO the ‘heaviest’ UK #1 ever? Iron Maiden had a #1 in the early ’90s, but I don’t know the song. Hendrix? Any other contenders? Prodigy? If we gave the bunny a few days off, could any heaviosity experts opine? Oh, and happy holidays everyone!

  6. 31
    Steve Mannion on 20 Dec 2009 #

    ‘Setting Sun’ might be heavier (and shriller). The Maiden song was typical them but probably not their heaviest.

    Pleasantly surprised that this actually worked – tho hoping it doesn’t lead to repeated attempts at other times of year. I would just like the battles to involve better (and newer/more original) songs.

  7. 32
    lonepilgrim on 21 Dec 2009 #

    re 30 …perhaps the first UK number 1 of the millennium?

  8. 33
    Tom on 21 Dec 2009 #

    Yes I had just thought of that – tho musically the Manics were never “heavy” exactly (they didn’t have the chops).

    A CURIOUS PARALLEL THOUGH (actually even I think KITN is leagues ahead of THAT.)

  9. 34
    Pete on 21 Dec 2009 #

    I think the interesting thing about this is that it was not done from a particularly rockist perspective. There has been little “RATM is objectively better” than X-Factor nonsense. Instead it has been thought of as funny, which in itself skews an odd perspective in Killing In The Name of. Its not supposed to be a funny song (and isn’t) but juxtaposing it with number one is worth a smile. If it raises, or changes, next years X-Factor game than all for the good. And it will empower hundreds of other failed chart grabs in the next year which in itself could be quite funny (the failure that is – though I would love to see someone baiting Comic Relief in a similar way).

  10. 35
    fivelongdays on 21 Dec 2009 #

    I’d say it’s certainly a contender for Heaviest number one – up there with “Voodoo Chile”, “Bring Your Daughter…” and “Breathe”.

    “Masses Against The Classes” is a great record (and it was the last time I was really excited about a chart before yesterday), but I’m not sure I’d class it as ‘Heavy’.

    Pete @ 34 – the concept of ‘rockism’, as well as being an anachronism, is also a misnomer. It’s usually ROCK that gets done by the stance of ‘rockism’ (witness the anti-RATM hipster snootiness).

    BTW, Iron Maiden’s number one always seemed like the equivalent of a Special Award for Services to British Heavy Metal…but more of that when Tom gets to it!

  11. 36
    Erithian on 21 Dec 2009 #

    A Radio 5 listener this morning made the first nomination for the Facebook campaign next Christmas – “Bring Me Sunshine” by Morecambe and Wise. Not sure there’s a massive overlap between people who’d want that song and people who can download it, but you heard it here first!

    abaffledrepublic #26 – to be fair to Cowell and Westlife, neither of which I’m remotely inclined to be fair to, once the sales pattern was established whereby records regularly entered at number one, the Christmas chart battle was irrevocably changed in that every contender was released the week before the Christmas chart! – so it wasn’t just him or them.

    Pity there’s no Facebook campaign to give Cliff his 00s number one in the last possible week he can retain his number-one-every-decade record.

  12. 37
    Steve Mannion on 21 Dec 2009 #

    I’d call it a small mercy myself :)

  13. 38
    crag on 22 Dec 2009 #

    So RATM did it- ho hum.
    As my friend put it “In the battle between X-Factor and Facebook to see which is the bigger modern cultural phenomenon Facebook won- and now goes on to meet Youtube in the semi-final”…
    Merry Christmas everyone btw….

  14. 39
    Lazarus on 19 Dec 2012 #

    ‘The Christmas Number One Story’ starting just now on BBC2. There’ll be plenty of over-familiar material of course, but it might be worth a look, at least for the early years.

  15. 40
    Mark G on 20 Dec 2012 #

    The horse that was with Rolf for the 2 little boys video, looked exactly like the horse that was with Rodd Gilbert in his “Policeman” show..

  16. 41
    Lazarus on 20 Dec 2012 #

    I wasn’t expecting a lot to be honest, and I wasn’t disappointed – from Dickie Valentine to the Beatles in one nimble step, and thence to Slade. There is a problem with trying to cover 60 years in an hour of course, but in that case why spend so much time on Renee and Renato, ‘Two Little Boys’ and the Military Wives song, none of which refer to Christmas at any point? Oh well, the Pops is on at 8 tonight, and it looks like a half-decent line-up. Generation X, Graham Parker, and does anyone remember The Banned? Wasn’t that the Eastenders lot?

  17. 42
    Mark G on 20 Dec 2012 #

    Noooh, (ok they did use the name), but bandwagon jumpers that actually made a decent stab at a punk/dance tune

  18. 43
    swanstep on 21 Dec 2012 #

    The XX’s cover of Wham’s Last Christmas is worth a listen/download:
    http://soundcloud.com/youngturks/last-christmas-live-on-radio.
    Happy Holidays everyone.

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