Posts from 29th May 2004

29
May 04

Infertility/Infidelity: not just similar words

Proven By SciencePost a comment • 748 views

Infertility/Infidelity: not just similar words

Plainly there is a causal connection between infertility and infidelity. I base this finding on extensive research* conclusively demonstrating that whenever an adulterous woman becomes pregnant, it is very frequently (to a highly statistically significant degree) the case that the husband is then found to be infertile, though obviously the wife did not know this when conducting her affair. I dismiss the possibility that this is a cheap trick of fiction, so there is therefore clearly a cause and effect link.

I am putting a submission together as we speak seeking substantial funding for further research to investigate whether infertile semen is unsatisfying to married women, perhaps due to being inferior in quality or flavour, therefore increasing the likelihood of their having affairs; or whether being cuckolded, even without the husband’s knowledge, increases the incidence of infertility. I anticipate that my research methodology will prove controversial.

*specifically watching lots of soap operas and movies, including The Good Girl just now

“we’re lost and we’ve missed telly!?”

Do You SeePost a comment • 564 views

“we’re lost and we’ve missed telly!?”

= the forlorn cry (immortalised in family legend) of long-ago small-sinker woe, when a daytrip-by-car went awry…

here i wz trying to think of something to say abt watching Transformers: BeastWars and Xcalibur back-to-back, and it jumped into my head: yes, *I’m* lost, and yes i’ve clearly missed the telly (possibly decades of it) required to make sense of Five’s current Saturday-morning fare, unfolding as it incomprehensibly does somewhere out between metal hurlant, robotoid computergame grafix (don’t ask ME to say which) and 19th-century post-preRaph kids fairystory illustration:

(that there’s Eleanor Vere Boyle courtesy www.surlalunefairytales.com, and Beauty and the Beast)

Of course I can tell you lots abt the latter – how this strain of art was an open portal straight into the weird-sex underside of the Victorian mind, all tanglewood backdrop, chix in clingy shifts and writhing erectile monsters… but BeastWars and Xcalibur (just for starters) present such an undergrowth of tired kidflick hand-me-down and startling image, confusion, war, sexlessness, senselessness, libido, manufactured archetype, cliche and i don’t know what else that i couldn’t guess where to begin

Ever since I’ve been on this diet people are saying I’m obsessed with food. I’m not, but any time I switch on to the local radio station they’re playing a song that reminds me how hungry I am.

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 340 views

Ever since I’ve been on this diet people are saying I’m obsessed with food. I’m not, but any time I switch on to the local radio station they’re playing a song that reminds me how hungry I am.