“But having such a big penis does have one drawback: it seems that co-ordinating eight legs, two feeding tentacles and a huge penis, whilst fending off an irate female, is a bit too much to ask, and one of the two males stranded on the Spanish coast had accidentally injected himself with sperm packages in the legs and body. And this does not seem to have been an isolated incident since two of the eight males that had stranded in the north-east Atlantic before had also accidentally inseminated themselves.

“It is also possible that the sperm packages had come from other males that they had ‘bumped’ into, in the dark depths of the ocean. However, the sperm packages ended up in the squid – it is just another part of the mysterious lives of these creatures of the deep sea.”

(nat geo pix of solo cruising squid this way)

(evil queer-gnashing whale pic by John Dawson, copyright National Geographic Society)