Sun protection factor 35. You don’t get “sun block” anymore, apaprently our sun is TOO POWERFUL TO BE STOPPED. You get stuff like Soltan’s SPF 35 instead, and its copious warnings on the back about how actually it won’t work if:
a) You get slightly wet
b) You sweat
c) You leave it on more than an hour
d) You have just put it on.
e) You have somehow trasported yourself to Mercury and you are on the sunny side(it does not say that, but in this litigous world they really should).

I remember the good old day when Amber Solaire used to make SPF 0.5, some sort of basting oil which would actually get you a tan twice as fast. SPF 35 causes the sun to brown you 35 times slower than Yellow Face himself, apparently. I like to think it sets up a time dilation effect near your skin (slowing down the signs of aging) but truth be told you would be just as well off covering your skin with cement or – how’s this – a T-Shirt.

I have a bottle of SPF 8 as well, which is ideal for the first few days of your holiday apparently. I was going to try a comparison test between the two creams, and perhaps develop a nice little two tone tan. But then I went in the pool, got a bit of sunburn on my shoulders and being the Marie Curie of sunlight seemed less attractive.