(“He was an awfully big marine.”)
Here’s a sketch riffing on this standard ending to many urban legends from Lionel Nimrod’s Inexplicable World [1.1 MB mp3].
The 2nd and final series of Lee and Herring’s early radio show (marginally cleverer and funnier than Fist of Fun IMHO) also has a great ending itself that featured Tom Baker (as Lionel Nimrod) which is more appropriate nearer the top of the FT Top 13 Endings.