YOU NEVER HAD IT SO GOOD
Dear Do You See reader(s),
so, you don’t like watching the new Channel Four programme, Green Wing, right? I can hear your cries from where I type, it’s too long, you say! It would be alright if it were half an hour, it being an hour long the terrible trip-hope soundtrack GRATES like FETA (ie UNSATISFYING!!! see poss followup post to Brown Wedge perhaps) and the speed-up slow-down thing? Come ON telly-makers, it didn’t work for Mogwai and it’s not going to work for YOU either. Oh Green Wing! A programme with little history and with hopefully very little future either…
You know what I say?
SHADDAP!!!!
YEAH, you heard!! SHADDAP!!!
Why do I tell you to SHADDAP?!
Because last night, I watched ITV’s Rosemary & Thyme, which stars Felicity Kendall and some other bint who looks like one of the Two Fat Ladies after they’d lost a couple of pounds, ie FOOLING NO-ONE thank you very much. This didn’t last one hour, no. It didn’t last HALF an hour, no. TWO FLIPPING HOURS of this, I sat through, no trip-hop or silly camera-work, just amusingly named Landscape Gardening Crime-Fighters slowly wading their way through a plot that Midsomer Murder’s would have cracked through in about five minutes. It’s the lack of potential that disappoints me! For a programme CLEARLY commissioned on a DARE, it completely threw away the potential – come on ITV, sack the writers, get them behind Jonathan Creek in on the act and CUT IT DOWN TO AN HOUR and you might stand a chance of keeping the series going.
I on the other hand, will be looking forward to Midsomer Murders. I’ll no doubt watch Rosemary & Thyme again next week, but possibly with stronger stimulants than Hot Chocolate. Maybe my “Sleepy Time” tea, which has the opposite effect, which I usually use to keep me awake for Channel Five’s LUDICROUSLY late showings of “Angel” at eg 12.45 – well past my bedtime…