So if it wasn’t God (due to logical fallacy) or Alieums (due to unlikeliness and racking of book in UFOlogy sections of bookshop) who really built the moon. Get this: WE DID! B-b-b-but surely we would remember. A moon isn’t just something you knock together in your back yard. A moon is a very big (though lighter than expected) satellite orbiting the Earth, it ain’t just some bouzy pissed up crop circle.

So how did we humans build the moon. Well, its okay, because we haven’t actually done it yet. Turns out that Messrs Knight and Butler have been listening to Orbital too much and hence present us with the theory of the Mobius. You know: where time becomes a loop. (The Mobius bit of the theory of the Mobius is just a rubbish analogy, so he should take no credit for it). Basically, since the Moon is so jolly important to our existence, and indeed we would not evolved without it (and we have ten fingers – alright already) the Moon is a message from mankind. And that message is: GO BACK IN TIME AND BUILD THE MOON.

Now time paradoxes notwithstanding (HA – and indeed DOUBLE HA) this is a neat theory. They can suggest that futoor man is very clever and can manipulate all sorts of mass, and build a time machine, which is great. And having not only noticed the Moon being a message but that it is integral to our existence, decide not to leave it to chance. The multiple, bifurcating worlds theory pops up too (well we are talking time travel). Bascially we better decode the message soon, else we may miss out on building the very thing which ensured our existence. That and 4 billion years of good luck. WE BUILT THE MOON WATCH STARTS NOW!!!