During the 3 years in which I did not shave the science of razors appears to have advanced by leaps and bounds. I don’t believe I ever used the amazing 3-bladed Mach 3 razors and certainly back in the day we never had the remarkable and TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE monument to progress that is the four-bladed Quattro razor. Where do they get their ideas eh??

The adverts for these multi-bladed beasts show the blade in stately progress across the chin, giving the death of a thousand (or three) cuts to the recalcitrant hairs ensuring the smoothest shave evah. What they don’t show is the bastard blades taking half your skin with it. My face this morning after its first encounter with a Mach 3 was a mask of tatters and blood – to be fair on the tiny patches of intact skin the hairs had indeed been beaten back. We had to destroy the village in order to save it, don’t you know? If I’d used the Quattro I think I’d be reduced now to a nose and one dangling eye.

Proven By Science calls on so-called R&D departments to STOP THE MADNESS before the inevitable 5-bladed razor appears. This is basic product testing good sense – a product that innovates is not the same as a product that the public will actually enjoy. PS Shaving sucks.