SUMMER OF SMUT: The hot weather has got advertisers’ sap predictably rising with 2 naughty new campaigns featured in this week’s Marketing. First up is Perrier, who are “overhauling their packaging” with a “risque design”. The design in question will be familiar to anyone who bought a ‘naughty’ pen on a childhood seaside trip. When you shake the special Perrier bottles, the 40s-style label bombshells on the labels will lose their clothes. Desperate leches should check their rush to the supermarket though – even undressed the Perrier logo looks to cover their bits.

(Also, Pumpkin Publog would like to remind you that shaking fizzy drinks is a twat’s game.)

The food and drink connection to campaign #2 is more tenuous. Ann Summers’ summer initiative is a campaign to highlight the dangers of testicular cancer, which will appear from next week on all their shops. The way of doing this is to show a ‘hunk’ with a pair of a certain fruit where his family jewels should be and caption it with the remarkable slogan “HAVE FUN WITH HIS PLUMS”. Best of luck to them, I say.