Condiments I Have Known #2: Hellman’s Mayonnaise
There’s a general rule of thumb in our house that if there’s a food product you like and buy regularly from the supermarket, try making it from scratch at home and see how much better and cheaper it turns out. This applies to bread, bagels, pizza, cakes, biscuits, flour tortilla and its derivatives, sauces, juices, humous, fishfingers and most importantly ice cream. But when it comes to mayonnaise, I come over all rockist and won’t even entertain the thought of home-made. I know full well that Hellman’s is probably full of crap, is probably not even what discerning folk would call mayonnaise, but god it’s good – thick and creamy and indulgent, and lacking the acidic edge and unhealthy yellow sheen of salad cream. I can’t have chips or battered fish or pizza crust or cheese salad sandwiches or raw veg or (my favourite) garden peas without it. Without wanting to stray into the realm of food porn, I think I love particularly the fact that it’s so unnaturally white; there’s an aesthetic pleasure in creating contrasting shiny pools of ketchup and mayo next to your chips. The White Stripes would surely understand.