An anemic remix, a squirtgun that isn’t regulation chartreuse, three fast cars, two bad puns, and some incoherent edits: The relevant details gleaned from last night’s viewing of the so-called controversial Madonna video lensed by Guy Ritchie. The slightly hysterical intro by a tongue-tripping Kurt Loder proved more compelling than the video itself, which wasn’t nearly as car-chase disturbing as, say, “Thelma and Louise” or even “Bye, Bye, Bye.” (An AOL-enabled friend tells me that the whole thing’s available for viewing at keyword: Madonna, but you don’t think that this could be – heaven forbid! – a huge synergy-inspired publicity stunt, could it?)