Picture if you will the dying throes of Britpop (the dying bit is unfortunately a metaphor here). The kids, slowly turning off their Oases and Blurs with the feeling the had been robbed, which they had. What did indie music have to throw up? The only vomit left were rubbish Welsh bands. Elsewhere I have dealt with simpleton whimsy mongers the Super Furry Animals and Gorky’s Zygotic Manky. But what of that screeching noise that came from the valleys. A band who reached the top, and imploded within two years. A band named after the state listening to a record by them would leave you in. Why yes, I mean Catatonia.

There was no real surprise when hard drinking party girl Cerys Matthews went nuts. It was the hard drinking bit that did it. Nevertheless the fact that they ever had a chance to write any music in between more pints was the big surprise. It was clear why the songs were no good, they did not spend that much time between pints after all. But they did not need to. The human version of the screech owl mangled the words she sung so much that it did not matter what the words were or even if they rhymed. Consider this lyric from the Tonia’s answer to Star Trekkin’ – Mulder And Scully:

Things are getting strange I’m starting to worry

This could be a case for Mulder And Scully.

I assume that Catatonia had plenty of versions of this song primed depending on what the TV favourite was at the time. If they reformed (please no) I am sure their comeback single would be:

Things are getting strange I’m starting to worry

This could be a case for Rosemary And Thyme.

Or if they traveled back in time to the mid-eighties I daresay they would come up with:

Things are getting strange I’m starting to worry

This could be a case for Cagney And Lacey.

Which actually almost does rhyme, not that you would be able to tell with Matthews’ pronunciation. Of course Mulder and Scully was not their only hit. Lost Cat, a tragic tale of the cat whose voice Matthews stole also troubled the charts before the band split up. Just after Cerys declared that every morning she wakes up she thanks God she is Welsh. Probably why she’s fucked off to live in America then.