THE OSMONDS – "Love Me For A Reason"

Osmondz One of many drunken nights ago in a University bar I got into a vicious competition over Boyzone’s version of this song. My table would put the Boyzone song on the jukebox. Another bunch of drinkers at the next table would reply with Weezer’s “Buddy Holly”. This went through six or seven cycles before we were all threatened with eviction – remarkable patience by the bar staff, considering. Now I’ll admit our first play of the track was probably a tiny bit “ironic”. But as we played it again and again, evolving a complex series of arm-dances to accompany it, and as the drink fogged our brains, irony dissolved into territorial love.

I wouldn’t now spend money – even 20p a shot – to hear Boyzone’s “Love Me For A Reason”, and I wouldn’t go to bat for it critically either (except relative to that dreadful Weezer song of course), but it’s left me with a dogged fondness for the song, which even in this much finer original formulation was pretty clockwork stuff. The endlessly repeated chorus has a lulling quality – FUN girl, ONE girl, REASON, LOVE – and “Love me for a reason and let the reason be love” is one of those sublimely banal aphorisms only a boy band can really get away with. The Osmonds do a professional job on the tune, though, and when they wriggle out of the chorus straitjacket there are some quality pop moments: most of all, the lead-in to the final chorus – “my initial reaction is – honey gimme love, not a facsimile of!” – where the words cram into a gabble of excitement that breaks gloriously through the choreographed cooing.

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Billy Smart

15 November 2007 11:39

Its true that the lyrics are a series of banal aphorisms, but – on the infrequent occasions when I’ve listened to this one – I’ve always read it as being a ‘Let’s Wait a While’-style call to forgo pre-marital sex. Which adds a layer of narrative interest, if nothing else.

Tom

15 November 2007 11:44

I hear it more as yr standard “noes I want more than a one night stand” plea – more usually sung by women but still a very trad theme.

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 11:48

More pointedly, a very trad Mormon theme, although the song was co-written by Johnny Bristol, then also enjoying a top three hit of his own with “Hang On In There Baby.” Still can’t work out how “you bend and you fold me any way you please” fits into that scenario, though.

Not too much to say about the Osmonds’ only UK number one as a group except that it sets the template for the generic polite boy band horror which will gradually swallow up Popular in the late nineties. Unremarkable and unobjectionable (though I note they managed to keep Donny and Marie at number two with the bracket-busting “(I’m) Leaving It All (Up To You)”).

HOWEVER:
that dreadful Weezer song
See me, Tom *red ink*

Tom

15 November 2007 11:54

I think it’s a definite cut above most of the late-90s material you’re thinking of (sadly Boyzone never lived up to their um ‘early promise’).

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 12:10

It’s a world away from Cowell hell, that’s for sure. Of course the defence offered at the time for B/zone, W*stl*f* etc. was that the kids won’t know the originals so to them they are new songs but in an iPod everything is available environment I’m not sure that argument carries water any more.

The odd thing is that “Hang On In There Baby” is all about trying to persuade his somewhat reluctant and frightened Other to “open up and let me in.”

Which in turn reminds me of that godawful one hit wonder boy band slaughter of the immaculate “Let Me In” in the nineties – OTT wasn’t it?

Tom

15 November 2007 12:12

Now you mention it, since the rise of the ipod I don’t think there’s been such a reliance on cover versions – Liz McLarmon’s Lambrini-powered “Ladies Night” is the last one I can think of, maybe I’m missing something obvious and enormous from this year. (“Walk This Way” doesn’t count as on paper that should have been good 🙁 )

Steve

15 November 2007 12:14

They certainly dress a lot better than Boyzone. Love the typeface too.

rosie

15 November 2007 12:20

I don’t much enjoy saying nice things about the Osmonds (jointly and severally) but I must admit that I’ve always been quite fond of this one. It’s a nice song, nothing spectacular but it’s got a good tune of the sort that gnaws its way into your head without being irritation. It’s well-performed, too. Not much you can say against it, really, beyond its being the Osmonds. And then, a quarter of a century later, come one of those adolescent bands that all look and sound alike to me – ok, it was Boyzone, evidently, but I’m minded to ask how they can tell. Whatever, they added nothing to the song and the performance.

It’s also significant in that it was number one when I flew back from Canada on 19 September, so this is where I reconnected with the UK pop scene. All much as it was when I left, it seemed. Ha! I had no idea of the cataclysmic changes that that happened in my absence. Things were about to get much more interesting, though I wasn’t aware of it yet.

I’ll get a lot angrier with the wave of Osmonds-wannabes-yet-to-come when they start carving up some songs in a whole other league by one of my absolute favourite performers that were having their original manifestations in a year or two from where we are. Naming no names, of course.

Erithian

15 November 2007 12:40

And to think that if it hadn’t been for this song, the ‘Zone might only have been remembered for that excruciating appearance on the Gay Byrne show! (but more of that a couple of decades later).

The Osmonds fortunately didn’t promote their religious views on record as much as they might have done, although this was a case in point (I don’t know, was The Plan concept album overtly religious?). Plus it was around this time that the Osmonds took over the BBC and presented TOTP – a generation before pop star presenters became commonplace. I remember spluttering when Jay introduced Cozy Powell with the words, “It’s good to see another drummer doing well…”

This was the high water mark of the Osmond era – there was one more Top 10 for Donny and Marie, one more for the family, but the last Osmond hit of any size was in 1976, not counting nostalgia comebacks in later decades.

As for the song, unremarkable is a polite way of putting it.

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 12:50

The Plan is a sort of Latter Day Saints SMiLE and really should have been titled The Church Of Us. An extraordinary record – even “Let Me In” is addressed to God rather than A Girl.

Kat

15 November 2007 14:33

I was one of the kids who had never heard the original – I loathed boybands at the time (even Take That! What was I thinking?) and Boyzone’s effort was sickly and sappy from the opening bars, making me shudder whenever it came on the radio. I’ve heard the Osmonds’ version since but nowhere near often enough for it to blot out the ‘zone.

“Not a facsimile of”? Is THAT what they were saying? Bloody hell I could never make head nor tail of that bit. Also nice timing Tom, what with Boyzone’s reformation etc. 🙂

mike

15 November 2007 15:05

…and sadly, the complexities of The Plan sailed over the heads of the Osmonds’ US target market (I think it charted in the mid-20s), causing them to curb all further “progressive” aspirations forthwith – even to the extent of turning their back on anything remotely rock-flavoured, and even to the extent of abandoning their self-penned material. Thus the Love Me For A Reason album, as directed by Johnny Bristol’s right hand man HB Barnum, was billed as a move into blue-eyed soul/funk territory (masking what it actually was, namely a permanent retreat into full-on showbiz), and contained just one self-penned song.

“Love Me For A Reason” ain’t so bad, though. I quite like the appparent tautology of the “well, DUH!” hook line, as it fits well with the gently chiding tone of the rest of the lyric, and I also quite like the, erm, inverted gender politics! (See also Joe Jackson’s “It’s Different For Girls”?) As for the late-90s boyband template setting, I’d say this extends to the call-and-response vocal interplay, with the brothers-who-aren’t-Merrill performing a similar commentating-in-the-background function as the Take-Thats-who-aren’t-Gary, for instance.

I well remember that Osmonds-fronted TOTP special, which I think was part of an entire Osmonds theme week on BBC1; kudos to the PR people for that one! The hype worked, as “Love Me For A Reason” reached the top for the following week, the brothers having introduced the Three Degrees at the end of their show. Once again, we’d never have guessed at the time that they were nearing the end of their mega-success, as the #28 peak of the next single (the godawful “Having A Party”) would demonstrate…

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 15:18

The most symbolic evidence of that was Donny’s last solo hit (prior to his later resurgence) which was aptly titled “Where Did All The Good Times Go?” (emphatically not the Ray Davies song). It peaked at #18 in the last week of 1974 and then vanished from the chart, Marie Celeste-style, immediately thereafter.

mike

15 November 2007 15:35

I remember the headline in one of my sister’s magazines at the back end of 75: “The Osmonds: Are We Still Gonna Need Them?”

Lena

15 November 2007 15:59

I’ve never heard this, the big song I hear on the oldies show here is “One Bad Apple” which is them trying to sound like the Jackson 5 as much as possible (and not doing too bad either).

What Weezer song?

Waldo

15 November 2007 16:00

I’m a believer, folks. But my belief is as much in Justice as it is in God. I think the Quakers touch many of my bases. A personal belief and not imposing this on anyone else. Peace and quiet. Very nice. The Osmonds, of course, followed the path of the Latter-day-Saints and were thus rather a peculiarity as teen idols. The fact of the matter was, if you wanted to marry Donny, you had to become a Mormon too, a tough ask if you were a fourteen-year-old girl riding her pony in the stockbroker belt. This stipulation notwithstanding, “Love Me For A Reason” was actually a direct plea from the brothers steeped in decency. “Don’t love me for fun…Let the reason be love”. A good sentiment. Obviously I never held this opinion back in the day and when the Osmonds came to the UK on tour at about this time and lined up to sing this song, I feigned derision just like all my mates. Growing pains and jealousy of Donny, I’m afraid.

Marcello (#10): I had no idea “Let Me In” was addressed to God. Certainly Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life” was. It must have been. Marge Simpson said so.

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 16:13

And God showed the British some sympathy and prevented said Debby Boone catastrophe from progressing further than #48 on our charts, though I’m sure there will be a predictably and massively successful X-Factor generated cover sooner or later.

(Weezer xpost: “Buddy Holly” of course!)

Waldo

15 November 2007 16:24

I think, sadly, you’re right. “The X-Factor” is just the place for Debbie’s truly dreadful song (which was massive in the States, of course) to rear its ugly head again. And I fear also that it would score highly.

Erithian

15 November 2007 17:02

I don’t know so much – although it was indeed enormous in the States it’s barely known here and hasn’t been revived in, what, nearly 30 years? Since you mention X Factor, can I just mention now, rather than wait until Popular gets to it, that the current number one is Bleeding Awful.

Steve

15 November 2007 17:33

It’s not as bad as it could be but I do not understand how/why LL is so Popular or rather how can X Factor success be so consistent as to facilitate an artist’s popularity with such alarming ease (12 months between debut single and follow up and all). I’m not explaining my puzzlement very well here, it’s just that the process AND the response seem SO effortless.

Tom

15 November 2007 18:00

I think they’ve played the marketing joker a bit with LL – “No, come on, THIS is the reality TV find who’s REALLY talented” – all the press is, like, winner from the start, Clive Davis, new Whitney etc etc.

Of course this is all SPOILERAGE – on the other hand I think given the pace of Popular (which I am continually wanting to improve but other projects keep muscling in on it) I won’t be cracking down on spoilers from 20+ years ahead, let alone 33!

Lena

15 November 2007 18:08

Ah, sorry, I’m a bit out of it after little sleep & having to go to the hospital…

“Buddy Holly” is one of the few Weezer songs I do like, but I can’t compare it to the Boyzone version of this, obv.

Don’t they all look like pimps on the sleeve though!

Marcello Carlin

15 November 2007 18:36

heh!

“We’ll show those Cowsills who’s boss…”

Waldo

15 November 2007 19:26

Oh dear God, The Cowsills! How did THEY get in there?! The inspiration for those darned Partridges. “I love the flower girl…”

Just wrong.

Waldo

15 November 2007 22:11

Oh-oh!… Regarding Mormons, do any of my fellow travellers remember that little episode later in the decade featuring Joyce McKinney, a former beauty queen, and a guy called Kirk Anderson? I shall leave those of you who do not to “google” it but for little Waldo, this was most certainly a Clodagh moment. What heightened it so delightfully was the background music: Tavares singing “Mormon A Woman”. Oh, how the red tops had a field day!

Lena

15 November 2007 22:12

This was one of those times when neither #1 was much good – in the US it was “(You’re) Having My Baby” by newly-announced Canadian Songwriter Hall of Fame winner Paul Anka.

Caledonianne

15 November 2007 23:10

Oh yes, Waldo – I remember that of which you speak!

Kind of came to mind during the (entirely different) recent tennis coach trauma – though ski-ing was the sport of (p)reference in the earlier case if I remember aright…

Caledonianne

15 November 2007 23:30

Should have added – looking at this Youtube clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iVWg5T7fXM

– even by the standards of mid-1970s dress the combination of white jackets with ghastly trousers in colours only normally seen in the wardrobes of middle-aged golfers is fairly jaw-dropping.

I’m a wee bit underwhelmed by this – I can see why I was scathing about it at the time, yet still recognise that they were good-looking boys, and they could deliver a pretty tune rather well.

crag

16 November 2007 01:47

Osmondmania was a bit before my time being only 1 year old- but what i was wondering how much of a one-man-show they were in terms of popularity.Did their young female audiences of the time split into various factions each choosing a different member of the group as their favorite, as seems to have been the way with most bands with a similar fanbase before and since(Beatles, Rollers, Boyzone etc).Or was it really only all about Dishy Donny right from the start, with his goofy brothers tagging along merely accepted by fans as part of the “deal”? It seems a little unlikely to me but were there really schoolgirls in the 70s who had heated arguments over whether, say, Alan was dreamier than Wayne? Or who perhaps covered their bedroom walls solely with pin-ups of Merrill for them to drool over? Perhaps some more mature contributors could enlighten me? Just curious.
Also perhaps a tad obvious i know but why has nobody mentioned Crazy Horses yet? Now THERE’S a record.

Marcello Carlin

16 November 2007 08:10

I’m pretty sure “Crazy Horses” was cited a few times in the previous Donny entries.

As hard to believe as it might seem, I can attest from first hand experience that there were indeed heated debates between the girls in my ’73-4 primary school class about whether Merrill was dishier than Jay etc. A year later the same girls were having the same debates about whether Eric was more gorgeous than Woody, but that’s still to come.

From the Osmond perspective it probably made sense to diversify their “acts” according to demographic preferences; thus Donny would be in charge of the teen idol department, Marie for girly country ballads for the, um, girls (though that never really took off) and Little Jimmy for tiny tots novelties, and that would leave the Actual Osmonds free to be a Serious Group with Serious Things To Say About This Modern World. Although when the idolatry passed the Donny And Marie Show was the only feasible remaining branch of the operation.

mike

16 November 2007 09:47

“Joker” Jay in particular had a lot of fans to call his own, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when Merrill got married to Mary.

Erithian

16 November 2007 10:25

Back to LL (#21) – no denying she’s a talented singer but she sounds like she’s fighting to keep up at times. Somewhere in the mix is a half-decent song but it’s bludgeoned into submission beneath the worst case of Mariah-itis I’ve ever heard. If someone had auditioned performing all that vocal gymnastics, wailing and octave-jumps I do wonder what the judges would have said.

Yes, even without Google I remembered Joyce McKinney (#25) and the “I would have skied nude down Mount Everest with a carnation in my teeth for Kirk” quote. (Mind you Waldo, she wasn’t all that!) Just after the story was all over the tabloids I actually found myself opening the door to a Mormon missionary. As it happened I was playing a tape of the Beatles’ “Please Please Me” album at the time, and oooh, if ONLY it had reached the track that goes “My baby’s got me locked up in chains…”

Marcello Carlin

16 November 2007 10:55

Well it’s probably a bit like boot camp; once the judges let you through, you get six months (six weeks?) of melismatic square bashing drilled into you, since in Cowell’s forever 1990 world you have to be Whitney or Mariah to gain International Success and that is that.

A shame really because with Rhydian in the current series I have caught a glimpse of the ghost of Billy MacKenzie on a couple of occasions but there’s no way they’re going to allow him to develop that.

In the seventies the Jehovah’s Witnesses were in the habit of ringing our neighbourhood’s doorbells with their Free Book Including Interview With George Harrison. I don’t think they found any takers.

mike

16 November 2007 11:13

I’d like to see Rhydian get his chops around “Eloise”.

Marcello Carlin

16 November 2007 11:29

SECONDED!!!!

Mark G

16 November 2007 16:07

Yeah. He won’t though.

Not after his “I’m coming out” anyway. (no hidden messages there, viewers!)

Caledonianne

16 November 2007 23:12

As one who was around at the time I can confirm the fans-for-bruvs-other-than-Donny phenomenon.

Indeed, I had a schoolfriend who was so smitten by Jay that she instructed us all to stop calling her Elizabeth and address her by the name of her idol. Despite this moment of madness, as a grown-up she became editor of the TV Times.

crag

18 November 2007 13:15

Top story, Caledonianne! Thanks to all who posted a response to my query re: Merrillmania etc.
Interesting Osmonds fact i discovered the other day-did anyone know that as well as (deep breath) Wayne, Alan, Jay, Merrill, Donny, Marie and Jimmy there are 2 other older Osmond brothers called George and Thomas who were both born deaf?
The really odd thing about these two Gummo Marxesque characters was that although unsuprisingly their disability prevented them from recording w/ their siblings they have apparently performed live and on TV with them several times over the years!
I wonder how that worked?

RobM

18 November 2007 21:13

Oddly enough, Marcello (#33) I was thinking the same about Rhydian and Billy Mackenzie. If only he didn’t look like Max Headroom.

Marcello Carlin

19 November 2007 09:19

If only he hadn’t done “Go West” on Saturday.

mike

19 November 2007 10:38

2 other older Osmond brothers called George and Thomas who were both born deaf?

Oh yes; we knew them as Virl and Tommy, and they were regularly mentioned in the teen mags (my sister was buying import copies of Spec and 16 during 73-74, and Os-triv was a major component factor, along with extensive coverage of a couple of ordinary looking Joes called Randy & Kev, who played a couple of firemen on US TV, oh and and advice column purporting to be from LaToya Jackson called “Tell It To Toya”…!)

Erithian

19 November 2007 10:59

re Rhydian – and if only he didn’t look and sound more preposterous every week. He reminded me more of the scary nutter in a previous series who murdered “Tainted Love” then told the judges he knew where they lived.

Marcello Carlin

19 November 2007 11:16

But pop is MEANT to be preposterous in a you’ll-never-be-me/I-am-not-of-this-world sense, as opposed to, say, Same Difference, who are clearly the missing link between Bardo and Kate Garraway.

Erithian

19 November 2007 11:32

Point taken MC, but I’m reminded of Terry Wogan’s famous words to David Icke in his turquoise shellsuit: “They’re not laughing WITH you, they’re laughing AT you”.

RobM

19 November 2007 11:56

Let’s face it, if Cowell and Co are really looking for someone with the X factor, Rhydian has it in spades. But they want someone like Beverley who’s just a good singer and can be manipulated. Rhydian won’t win, shame.

Marcello Carlin

19 November 2007 12:02

Beverley could probably make a better living as a session singer than any of the other contestants but I think you’re right; she’ll win and end up being pushed into becoming another failed Whitney. Whereas Cowell is increasingly viewing Rhydian as just this year’s Darius.

Mark G

19 November 2007 14:07

Cowell *wants* Rhydian.

My bet is, he’d vote to keep Rhydian over Same Difference.

Marcello Carlin

19 November 2007 14:20

Same Difference just need to find their Trevor Horn, really.

Mark G

19 November 2007 14:38

In a “Derek and Clive” way, naturally.

RobM

19 November 2007 14:41

But surely Simon is mentoring Same Difference, so would feel honour bound to support his act? I missed this week’s show (working) so don’t know who was in the bottom two – who was with Alisha then?

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THE OSMONDS – "Love Me For A Reason"

THE THREE DEGREES – "When Will I See You Again?"

CARL DOUGLAS – "Kung Fu Fighting"

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