Want proof? Here are a bunch of Doors fans seeking a pardon for Jim Morrison. Now if you ask me, there is absolutely no forgiveness availible for the heinous crimes committed by the so called Lizard King. Not only was their stoner rock lazy, lacksidasical and unintelligable, they spawned two generations of even lazier, lacksadaisic mumble bonces since. But apparently, these low IQ-ed Doors fans don’t want a pardon for his crimes against humanity. Instead they want a pardon for a very specific crime. One of exposing himself in-front of an audience in Florida.

Now I don’t think it is in the remit of the Florida courts to go back on their sensible decision to have a crime of “Being The Doors in a live venue” on their statute books, though I am surprised that Ray Manzarek wasn’t arrested too. But apparently the crime was indecent exposure. Again, Jim Morrison in public strikes me as about as indecent as you can get. Instead the crime appears to be specifically that a cock was shown on stage.

Well, that would be Jim Morrison.

The fans seem under the misapprehension that the crime was that he got his penis out. Well anything to distract the audience from the awful drone Riders On The Storm. They are falling back on the old chestnut that he only “simulated” getting his cock out. Probably he did this by the time honoured method of sticking his hand down his pants and poking his pinkie out of his flies. It says something for the assumed prowess of Fat Jim that when the flies of perception were opened, the audience believed a teeny tiny finger to be the Morrison Manhood. Lizard King? We’re not talking a Komodo Dragon here, more a small and shy Gecko.

Anyway, simulation is nine tenths of the law. The Doors may have simulated making great records, but what they actually put out was sub-hippy pap suitable only for the ears after five special cigarettes. Jim Morrison may have simulated sexual allure and talent, but actually he was a slightly sweaty fat bloke with a voice suitable only for reading out the train arrivals at Wigan station.

The allusion in the story was to a NY governor pardoning Lenny Bruce for an obscenity charge. Well that’s cos Lenny wasn’t obscene. Jim Morrison was a dick.