30
Mar 07

it’s the end of the videogaming world as we know it

FT7 comments • 926 views

This is real Nostradamus end times fare: believe it or don’t but it’s confirmed by Nintendo: Sonic and Mario: together at last in Mario and Sonic at the OLYMPIC GAMES!! Oh. My. God. But Mario beating Sonic at speed? NEVER HAPPEN. Unless the cheating bastards pull a Thundercats on us. I am still traumatised from a story arc of Thundercats where they had to decide who was going to be leader of the Thundercats. The leader had to beat all the other Thundercats at their special abilities. So, RUBBISH old Lion-O had to beat Cheetara in a speed trial, right? So they have a long flat route, and a dangerous short cut through an HORRIBLE JUNGLE. Cheetara runs really quickly over the long route, and Lion-O showing BRAVERY and STUFF takes the jungle route, and just about wins. BUT HE WASN’T FASTER!! Cheetara was awesome and she should have been leader. I’m still angry about this.

PS – I was always a Sonic/Sega person back then. But now I’m all about the Nintendo. The appearance of Tails was bad enough, but when KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA came along it was just insulting. Never mind “Shadow” the Hedgehog. Stop making “dark” equivalents of good character brands! It hasn’t worked with Pokémon, it hasn’t worked with Sonic, it will NEVER WORK! Note there has never been a “Dark Mario” (there has been an actual ‘shadow’ Mario in Paper Mario 2, but he was AN ACTUAL SHADOW which is different as any fule kno).

Comments

  1. 1
    Pete Baran on 30 Mar 2007 #

    Surely Wario = Dark Mario!

  2. 2
    Sarah on 30 Mar 2007 #

    Wario is different; he’s not got all the portentious “dark”, “shadow” imagery that all the specifically named Dark Pokémon/Shadow Sonic etc gain, which is the more ridiculous because the original characters were originally on a different moral and ethical spectrum, and “dark” as a character set is pretty lame anyway (or so I think). Wario is more like a rub baddie who lives in Mario’s town,that’s why they look a bit alike!

  3. 3
    Tom on 30 Mar 2007 #

    Most grievous use of ‘dark’ imagery for me was Jak And Daxter – wonderfully fun, colourful entry-level platformer which had plenty of adventure and menace (it certainly wasn’t goofy or anything) – and then the sequel not only makes Jak into “Dark Jak” but also panics and turns into a Grand Theft Auto clone (!!).

    I seriously can’t understand why game designers do it – I cannot think of ONE SINGLE INSTANCE where a ‘darker’ version of a cartoony game has been a sales hit. And the reason is so obvious – the people who like dark, gritty gaming HAVE LOADS TO CHOOSE FROM, they won’t take a “Dark Sonic” remotely seriously, while the people who liked fun Sonic will hate it anyway.

  4. 4
    Tom on 30 Mar 2007 #

    NB this sort of nonsense is the absolute scourge of the comics industry too, except there you can see why they do it, commercially speaking.

  5. 5
    Sarah on 30 Mar 2007 #

    Oh god yes, “dark” Jak, absolutely!! Dark Eco experiments indeed…

  6. 6
    Alan on 30 Mar 2007 #

    Dark jigglypuff would be great!

  7. 7
    Sarah on 30 Mar 2007 #

    No it wouldn’t! Anyway, you can do dark without all this rub, viz CUBONE who is vv sad and a bit scary too!

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