20
Jul 06

IHM Lyric Watch: Lily Allen – Smile

FT + I Hate Music60 comments • 7,594 views

Big Tongued Lady Jamie Oliver Lily Allen“When you first left me
I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door
What did you do that for?”

As a girl, you would think that I would sympathise with Ms Allen’s plight here. But my sympathies are squarely with this unnamed other of indiscriminate sex. Indeed Ms Allen’s question seems thoroughly misplaced. What did he do that for indeed?

Maybe they did it because they don’t like you Lily.

Maybe you are crap in bed.

Maybe your faux Cockernee accent and attitood rubbed them up the wrong way.

Maybe your appropriation of the “female Mike Skinner” tag narked your significant other as they believed that not only does the world not need a female Mike Skinner but having a male one was already going too far. 

MAYBE, and this is probably pushing it a touch, THEY WERE PUNISHING YOUR FATHER THROUGH YOU FOR HIS INVOLVEMENT IN VINDALOO AND NAUGHTY CHRISTMAS (GOBLIN IN THE OFFICE)NOT TO MENTION YOU RHYMING TESCO’S WITH AL FRESCO IN LDN.

Okay, tabloid journos. I am willing to admit that the song was written about mine and Lily’s lesbian tryst. And that was my reason. And it made me smile.

Comments

  1. 1
    Erkin on 31 Jul 2006 #

    I’m addicted to Lily Allen music! I love her music, my favourite is Little Things!!Have u listened to her that song, Littlest Things

  2. 2
    Tanya Headon on 1 Aug 2006 #

    Yes. Its crap. You probably like Little Things as it accurately describes your brain. Thank you.

  3. 3
    Hollie on 2 Aug 2006 #

    Lily is fucking fantastic, Littlest Things is the best song, anyone that slates her – loser!!!!!

  4. 4
    Tom on 6 Aug 2006 #

    Lilly Allen is dog poo poor. I can’t understand what the fuss is about. I heard Smile on the radio the other day, and shortly afterwards heard Paris Hilton’s track. There was very little between the two in terms of quality (or lack of it).

  5. 5
    Y_2renk on 7 Aug 2006 #

    all ppl who say lily allen is shit, piss off cause u dn’t ´knw good music wen u hear it so if lily is readin diz i lov ur muzic and waz goenin couz ur sick at sigin and carry on wat ur doin cause u hve a lovely yet mean things 2 sing about and ur voice iz beautiful u r ma idol.

    Pizz off if u dn’t lyke her singin cause i knw i do her best song is Littlest things and her funny song is Smile. U should bug off if u have rude tingz 2 say bout ‘er. Rememba diz can u flippin do betta? da answer iz no Lily Allen’z h8erz

  6. 6
    Y_2renk on 7 Aug 2006 #

    All lily allen h8erz r dick headz sweaR dwn

  7. 7
    pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 7 Aug 2006 #

    i can in fact do betta

  8. 8
    alext on 7 Aug 2006 #

    Dear Y_2renk: why on earth would lily allen bother to waste her time googling her own name to find people slagging her off on the internet — it’s only her dumb shit fans who would do sad stuff like that, while she sits counting her money and drugs and laughing at all the idiots buying her record. Get a life.

  9. 9
    wow on 8 Aug 2006 #

    i haven’t heard littlest things but smile is great so can every one stop arguing abouther cause u all know really she brill !

  10. 10
    Mark Grout on 15 Aug 2006 #

    count drugs?

  11. 11
    no one you know on 20 Aug 2006 #

    if i blew my mouth off at all indie rock bands…then contradict myself and do a cover of one of them, acted like a bitch and told everyone that’s how someone ‘real’ acts,

  12. 12
    no one you know on 20 Aug 2006 #

    if i blew my mouth off at all indie rock bands…then contradict myself and do a cover of one of them, acted like a bitch and told everyone that’s how someone ‘real’ acts, sing like a no talent chav and do drugs because i had a “hard life” … would you all love me too? :)

    personally…i don’t think she’s had a tough life.. shit happens.. people have had it harder.. i find it hard to like her, her songs, or even have sympathy..
    music has gone downhill since 2000 hit..

    where have all the def leppard’s, ACDC’s and Judas Priest’s gone!?
    All I can say is.. LONG LIVE THE STROKES

  13. 13
    Alan on 20 Aug 2006 #

    “music has gone downhill since 2000 hit.” and exactly when did the strokes first appear?

    NO FURTHER QUESTIONS M’LUD!!!!!oneeleven

  14. 14
    stevem on 20 Aug 2006 #

    WHERE HAVE IRON MAIDEN GONE??

  15. 15
    pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 20 Aug 2006 #

    i have SOME of the def leppards here i think

  16. 16
    alext on 21 Aug 2006 #

    AC/DC >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The Strokes. That’s like saying ‘Where have the Plato, Aristotles, Kants and Hegels gone’ … oh well ‘long live Alain de Boton’. Strokes lame-ass faux-rock.

  17. 17
    ... on 21 Aug 2006 #

    You guys are all dumbasses…
    like your opinion matters to anyone ‘bar’ yourselves..

  18. 18
    Alan on 21 Aug 2006 #

    we’re way more ‘pub’ than ‘bar’

  19. 19
    Jade on 23 Aug 2006 #

    Lilly Allen Is rlly good i dont know how u can slater shes wiked :P

  20. 20
    melissa on 23 Aug 2006 #

    i love your music it is fantastic i always listen to it full blast on computer and sometimes gets told off but i’m not bovered

  21. 21
    melissa on 23 Aug 2006 #

    we love you lilly keep up the good music we all love your song smile it’s brill

  22. 22
    melissa sanders on 23 Aug 2006 #

    lilly when are you doing a tour because i eant to come and watch it your that brill we are all adickted to you and when are you bringing another song out because i really want to liste to it PLEASE bring another song because we are all waiting for it because like i have said you are brill and you have thought of these songs that is amazing YOU ARE BRILL LILLY ALLEN

  23. 23
    Tanya on 23 Aug 2006 #

    Melissa, I’ll be happy to pass that on to Lily the next time I see her for a “voice consult”. (My new role as singing tutor to the stars is really helping my campaign. Why only the other day Nelly Furtado was round complaining of singing a bit flat. I certainly saw her problem when I dropped a piano on her).

  24. 24
    Doctor Mod on 25 Aug 2006 #

    I presume you’re right about this one, Tanya. The responses from her various fans add up to a combined IQ in the vicinity of room temperature.

  25. 25
    Jamigram on 4 Sep 2006 #

    Shes awful, yet another “im so care free and non conformist and stuck to my roots” piece of crap!
    When I see her I cringe, when I hear her music I double cringe!
    What terribly contoversial thing will she do next, slag off U2, pop out a breast again? crazy days!

  26. 26
    Claire on 11 Sep 2006 #

    Lilly Allen is the biggest pile of pants ever!! seriously I really cant believe that she is being hailed as cool, not just by the usual clueless pop monkeys but by those that should know much better!!!

    I Personally think that she is really the brain child of some fat,old,out of touch music exec who knows how to score a quick buck…..

    “I know lets commercialized cross over, chav, street music in a fluffy almost celebrity package,throw in a few references to London, retro clothes (which are soooo cool)….and bang you got yourself a genuine artist”!!!

    Well…what else accounts for such rubbish! I’m stating the obvious
    when I say she has zero singing ability. She has no rapping or rhyming skills, she seems to get bored half way through writing a song so just resorts to repeating the same lines over and over and……..

    Her lyrics are far from witty and satirical, if fact lets say more along the lines of a sledge hammer! Oh sorry I forgot she cant get to clever, she needs to keep it basic so that they can milk the kiddy vote cash cow!

    And seriously if your going to sample ska at least do it some justice, don’t water it down to pensioner pace and volume. My god ‘Madness’ sound positively kicking and hard core compared to her,(beats are so weak they need resuscitating)

    Folks save your money, buy something authentic or at least funny! kids try penny sweets just as sickly, made with more loving care and will do less lasting damage…. – sorry rant over (LOL)

  27. 27
    lilyallenisafuckingstupidasscunt on 29 Sep 2006 #

    Hey Y2Renk – when you learn to speak English, I’ll listen to your dumbarsed opinion.

    Lily Allen is a fucking retard. So in her video, she hires guys to beat up her ex? Yeah, fucking hilarious. Then she drugs him. Fucking hilarious. And hires people to trash his flat. Fucking hilarious. Ok, now play back that video and replace Lily Allen with a guy. A guy hires guys to beat up his woman. Hahahahahaha!!!!!! Yeah, that would be great. A guy drugs a woman! Wooo doggy, thats some funny shit. See what I’m saying? She’s a fucking sexist shitbag and if I could harpoon her through the head, I’d fucking do it with pleasure.

    But more than anything else, learn to sing you fucking hatchet faced shitfuck talentless bitch. Going “cry-y-y.” in one fucking note and “lalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalala” is not fucking singing. Singing involves a motherfucking melody. As in, the note changes throughout the song? Look it up, you stupid ugly cunt. Did daddy buy you a record contract, or what? I swear to fucking god, she’s that Frankee bitch in disguise. And instead of snorting all your money up your nose, as we all know for a fact you’re doing, how about some singing lessons, style consultants, and I don’t know…plastic surgery so I can look at you without coughing up chunks of vomit? Oh, and buy some clothes that fit.

    Alternative? OD and do us all a favour. Use it as your next video. I’ll watch that one.
    You look like Jade Goody, and are actually one of the two people on earth less talented than her. Yes, I am talking about you Y2K.

    *praying for a fatal car accident to cut Lily Allen in two any day now*

  28. 28
    justin on 1 Oct 2006 #

    Firstly, I’d just like to say to the people slagging Lily should get of there ass and achieve something themselves before airing their pointless views. Go and but another coldplay single and rock out and keep it shut.
    I saw her for the first time on Johnathon Ross, and I only heard the song once and I was humming it almost immeadiatly, which is always the sign of a great song. I’m a songwriter myself and it’s not easy to keep focused, and actually keep singing to a theme rather than just make the words rhyme. Very witty and an honest breath of fresh air. Keep up the brilliant work Lily. Oh and I agree that your mother has great tits…

  29. 29
    LilyAllen: Die plz? on 1 Oct 2006 #

    To Y_2renk “Rememba diz can u flippin do betta? da answer iz no Lily Allen’z h8erz”

    1) Learn to type.

    2) Speak for yourself.

    3) Get an education.

    This was the most inarticulate reply ever. Lily Allen doesn’t need her fans making a bad name for her…she can do that well herself.

    To lilyallenisafuckingstupidasscunt:

    I think you are my hero.

  30. 30
    Alan on 1 Oct 2006 #

    I’m getting a bit creeped out by some of these tirades now. I take the point about the Smile video (as if many had not pointed this out), but to summarise with “She’s a fucking sexist shitbag” and then follow up with “talentless bitch” and “stupid ugly cunt”. not clever, and makes the internet that little bit worse a place

  31. 31
    lilly on 14 Oct 2006 #

    you no why people are fucking slagging her off? its because she has the lyrics and sounds good withit were as if they aint getting nowere and are fucking jelouse of lilly, well im sure she takes no notice of them the ass holes jelouse little shits,

  32. 32
    j on 16 Oct 2006 #

    no one in their right mind would b jealous of her, shes hideous and only got signed cos shes got a famous dad. yes shes got lyrics but theyre bad lyrics, yes she has money and takes drugs which is all good and well but thats her gimic, im amazed anyones bought her album or singles and i think it says a lot about what kind of scum are on this forum if they can relate to her. the very idea of relating to such a retard probably even upsets her dad.

  33. 33
    Paul Hardwick on 20 Oct 2006 #

    The very best Summer song I have heared this year.

    Go for it Lilly.

  34. 34
    Paul Hardwick on 20 Oct 2006 #

    Nice to fined a tune that says somethink to us all and makes us think, for the World is bigger than us all and questions must be asked.
    Or pionted out, love the track Alfie.

    Love yah already Lily!

  35. 35
    Rich on 23 Oct 2006 #

    WOOO! rock on the lily allen hate!

    always hated her from the first second i heard her, pretends to be different but really shes just bastardizing 5 genres of music instead of the usual 1.

  36. 36
    Jade Davis on 26 Oct 2006 #

    Lilly Allen is ok the bad thing is that she wears a long dress with trainers! lol

  37. 37
    Jade on 26 Oct 2006 #

    Lilly Allen is well allright! even though I havent heard many of her songs all Ive heard is smile and LDN which r cool! theres no need to say she is shit!

  38. 38
    nicole smith on 8 Nov 2006 #

    lilly alan u are a great singer i have listened to ldn and smile and those songs i have seen are fantastic i love them (GREAT)LOL

  39. 39
    nicole smih on 8 Nov 2006 #

    i well want to chay to u on msn u are a well good singer keep it up girl

  40. 40
    toadwarrior on 24 Nov 2006 #

    “# Y_2renk on August 7th, 2006

    all ppl who say lily allen is shit, piss off cause u dn’t ´knw good music wen u hear it so if lily is readin diz i lov ur muzic and waz goenin couz ur sick at sigin and carry on wat ur doin cause u hve a lovely yet mean things 2 sing about and ur voice iz beautiful u r ma idol.”

    If you’re any indicator as to the level of intelligence her fans have then god help her, you unintelligent retard.

  41. 41
    Emma on 26 Nov 2006 #

    all the lily allen haterz need to get a life you’re all just bitter and twisted because you are all boring people with boring lives and boring music taste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    you probably wear grey and listen to snow patrol
    and the fact you are slagging off someone on a web forum says a lot more about you than it does her!!!
    ok i just slagged you off but whatever
    lily has a beautiful voice, writes lush pop songs and has individual style!!! and she is pretty! not just copying whatever kate moss was wearing two months ago!!!
    she is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    even if her dad or whatever did get her a record contract who cares have u heard her voice?!?!
    long live lily!!!!!
    you haterz need to lighten up
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  42. 42
    roo on 22 Jan 2007 #

    lily allen rox my sox!!!

  43. 43
    brook on 25 Jan 2007 #

    okokok i no this was ages ago lol but just because u think bad of lily dosnt mean u have to spread it on the web i mean omfg are u that low lifed GET OUT MORE HUNNI!!! lily rox!!!!!!!! i love her xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

  44. 44
    theg1985 on 7 Feb 2007 #

    Y_2renk, you make me really mad. you are a sad individual and need to have a really good think to yourself. maybe there is something wrong with your hearing. the frog, (lily allen) does not make good music, it is actually really really bad music. i dont hate lily allen, i dont even know the girl, but i do hate her music, it is pathetic.

  45. 45
    Arran on 12 Feb 2007 #

    Notice how all the people sticking up for Lily Allen are inarticulate retards who obviously don’t know the meaning of the word ‘grammar’?

    I wouldn’t have a problem with her. She could just be one of the many crappy talentless musicians which have been churned out since the year 2000. But why does she have to criticise other peoples’ work?

    So, let’s see… some girl has a quick hit song… then she starts saying she’s better than giants like Bob Geldoff, Kylie and Madonna? I wish some people would just grow some brain cells and see that the only reason she puts down other peoples’ work is to make HERSELF look better because she knows she’s a pile of crap, and also to give her a controversial image – so that people pay more attention to her.

    Lily… if you’re reading this… which you probably aren’t… because you probably can’t read… face it, you’re nothing big. Can you really see yourself releasing a ‘Greatest Hits’ album 10 years from now? In my opinion, the girl will be silenced by around May-time this year. So to all you Lily fans here saying “lolz ey dnt diss lily cuz u ant dun owt yerself lol lv ya bbz xxxx mwah”, your idol here is the only one guilty of ‘dissing (lolz)’.

    But to all my fellow haters of “artists” who attack other musicians, don’t worry. She’s not upsetting all the legends whom she has put down. They’ve had worse insults in the past, from musicians who actually mattered. This one-hit-wonder girl who’ll be forgotten by next year… really… who cares apart from herself and her illiterate fans? Let her feel important for a while. Let her and her little brainless fans live in a world of their own. And let’s hope the next decade has some better music, eh? Pfft… indie… pfft… Lily Allen. Bah, Humbug.

  46. 46
    James on 12 Mar 2007 #

    I am amazed that given most of the people responding are English, why cant they write in their own language?. How disturbing. I’m Australian and love Lilly, the best thing to come out of your country since Blur. Be proud of anyone that becomes succesful out of your country, as its such a rare thing, IE your cricket team. Go Lilly, and work your way through their mates…….

  47. 47
    James on 12 Mar 2007 #

    As above.

  48. 48
    ChavScum on 14 Mar 2007 #

    It does seem that the ones defending the chavwhore are either 10 year olds who write in their crappy text message grammar (there is no cost to the email and your not limited to characters like in text messages cheapskate idiots) or they are the more annoying, self serving waste of spacers who continually buy the chavwhores cheap tac keeping the whore under the mistaken impression that she is sucessful. Its the people supporting her, the ones eager to rush out and buy something with her in it that are the real problem. Ignore this Lilly bitch and soon she will dissappear hopefully never to climb out of her sewer hole again.

  49. 49
    Tom on 14 Mar 2007 #

    “The mistaken impression that she is successful” – yes I can see how LAllen’s sales figures and royalty statements wd shore up this pernicious illusion.

  50. 50
    Cliff on 19 Mar 2007 #

    She is sexist, though. She’s cruel, and she’s a fine example of how patriarchy has resulted in a backlash double standard of acceptable misandry.

  51. 51
    Marcello Carlin on 20 Mar 2007 #

    Hey, Sir Cliff, great to see you on our boards, but lay off Jordan!

  52. 52
    hannah on 31 Mar 2007 #

    i love u .u are good at singing the best one is alfie .that is so good con you do a song about shannon .because i said to her that i will get lilly alan to sing about u my best friend shannon is crazy about u her room is all about u she is so so so so so so so so NICE she bye me lots of things she even got her salf a big chocolat and she has been to all your consarts she even dresses like u she is 11 years old i am 12 years old to . we both love u and your song too u are fab i have all your alboms we love u so much bye bye xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbyexxxxxx

  53. 53
    acess denied on 26 Apr 2007 #

    i think lily allen, is complete and utter shit, all her music promotes drug use which is already at its highest levels in the UK and her songs are about her miserable life. no one wants to hear this shit i hope her career is short lived and she ends up working in a chip shop or something and to boot she is ugly as fuck aswell.

  54. 54
    jessclaire on 29 Apr 2007 #

    Oh dear. There *is* a lot of nastiness on this page. Please remember boys and girls that taste in music is subjective, always has been and always will be. I’m personally not a fan of Miss Allen, but, to give the lady credit, she *is* doing pretty well for herself and I doubt that’s purely down to a huge marketing campaign. Someone has to be buying her music. And to be fair all you “h8ers”, it’s not the absolute worst music you’ve ever heard in your life is it? It’s relatively harmless. There’s far FAR FAR worse out there. So let the Lily fans enjoy her while she’s still here and use your wit, good grammar & accurate spelling to fight the real music criminals on the internet (you know who they are). And please, Lily Allen fans, to make a decent & coherent argument work over the internet people really need to understand what you’re saying. To reiterate ChavScum, stop typing like you’re being charged for it.

  55. 55
    Cliff on 19 Jun 2007 #

    What I don’t understand is how she’s come to be heralded as some feminist figure. It’s frustrating, because I’ve spent a good portion of my life defending women against shallow stereotyping, objectification, being compared to and judged by the standards set by popularized depictions in magazines and film, and the end result is someone comes right back to more or less indiscriminately fire arrows at the insecurities and weak spots of males in general with a slew of pats on the back. I don’t believe that feminism and empowerment has to come from belittling another faction of people. That’s the same mentality that authorizes bully-like cruelty.

  56. 56
    Tanya on 20 Jun 2007 #

    Hear Hear Cliff! (Surely not Richards?)

    And thank you for you tireless work in spending – ahem – “a good portion of my life defending women against shallow stereotyping, objectification, being compared to and judged by the standards set by popularized depictions in magazines and film”. I am glad to see that whilst you are agains belittling and bullying, patronizing is fair game in yr book!

  57. 57
    Cliff on 20 Jun 2007 #

    I’m sorry if the last post reeked of self importance and condescension, but I think your remarks are somewhat hostile and pejorative. There’s nothing patronizing about it. There’s no air of “extending my hand below” in any sort of fashion, nor I am compelled to do it because I think I’m somehow needed or crucial. I really have spoken out against it often, because I think it’s bull-crap and in the same position, I wouldn’t want the same done to me.

  58. 58
    Joe on 11 Feb 2008 #

    Lily Allen’s music is absolutely horrible. She sounds like a retarded six year old reading off poems she’d scribbled down minutes earlier. On one hand, I can understand why people like her music; the majority of people have no taste in music whatsoever and will only listen to what’s trendy. On the other hand, it’s unbelievable that people can be so brain-dead when it comes to music. Lily Allen fans, in a year’s time Lily will be unheard of, and you’ll be listening to the next fashionable thing to come along. She has no talent. Listen to some real music.

  59. 59
    Kat on 12 Feb 2008 #

    What sort of music do you like, Joe? I need some recommendations to replace all my imaginary CDs.

  60. 60
    John on 7 May 2008 #

    In a discussion as to whether Lily Allen is shit ot not one forgets that shit is quite useful. It can be used as organic fertiliser. It can also be used in diagnosing illness. The debate surely should be is Lily Allen worse than shit and the answer is obviously yes. She is ugly, talentless and moronic. She has the personality of a turd and her dire “music” should be banned under the geneva convention. In fact, the only “artiste” worse than this utter pile of shite is that ugly bitch Amy Winehouse. Imagine being trapped on a desert island with those two mingers. Man Friday would have a sore arse.

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