(US readers can skip to the next parentheses)

OK you’re not exactly crying out for a review of the Victoria Beckham single but it’s too hot to actually think about music and VB doesn’t require you to. This is Vic’s “Jenny From The Block”, not in the sense of being a classic pop single that everyone slags off — it’s rubbish – but in the sense of being conceptually built on a hugely unbelievable conceit. “It’s That Simple” is based on the idea that La Beckham’s man is a no-good hound who’s been doing her wrong and is one wagged finger and a guest-rap away from being shown the door for good. Unfortunately we all know that the fella in question is the 21st century poster boy for monogamy as well as everything else, and that Victoria Beckham’s love life is the least interesting thing about her bogglingly expensive lifestyle. For the first and only time NYLPM will plead — more authenticity!

(Hello US readers. Yes, it is that M.O.P. Their bit is funny.)