A million is an overrated number. We should start counting site hits in BINARY! YES! Binary Sitemeter! Wanted now!

FT HITS: 111010101010101001011100000111010101100101010101010011 etc etc.

Las Ketchup eh? I’ve got to respect them for making an annoyingly catchy song which features NO WORDS AT ALL. Yes, there are VOCALS but I can’t gather any words apart from the odd “bailar” (and we know how well that worked for young Enrique. Bailamos eh?) but still it repeats on and on in the feeble receptable that I deem my BRANE.

Each year there’s a song that counts as ‘the song yer mam danced to at the bar in Mallorca/Majorca/Pontins/Skegness’. It always gets to number one. And it has a gimmicky dance routine (ah Agadoo) and a chorus about Pineapples. Las Ketchup’s dance routine however involves the odd “mashed potato” handjive and then a bit of wiggling. Barely a dance routine at all! And when the chorus sticks in your head there is a FAIR CHANCE that you will get carted away in a BLACK MARIA because you will be sitting at your desk/shop till/STEWDENT BEDSIT rocking back and forth singing “aayyy hep, hep showaddywaddy gabba gabba dooodeeely doo, aaaay ah hep, yee heppy heppy yarr yarr ARRRRR” until the red mist descends and then ALL IS DARK. Evil, evil evil song.

Then again, it’s better than Beeyotch Valance’s latest effort. You know, the one that isn’t Down Boy but something else. And she strips down to her BRA. Utterly, utterly yawnsome and utterly, utterly depressing. I hate to say the lines WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN, but if it’s Valance today who’s to say it won’t be S Club Juniors tomorrow!! Arghh!