Posts from 25th March 2008

Mar 08


FT5 comments • 818 views

12. Liquid – Sweet Harmony

I mentioned in the introduction that my sister made me this tape whilst she was at university, and I had very little idea as to what ‘student life’ entailed other than making me mixtapes and never having any money. Did she ever find herself hugging random dudes on the dancefloor, or hallucinating giant rotating pineapples in a field somewhere in Northamptonshire*?


Ada – Arriba Amoeba

FTPost a comment • 415 views


“Ch-chhh! Ch-chhh! Ch-chhh-ch-ch-ch-chhh!”

Europop 2008: Group B – Germany 0 Poland 0

FT20 comments • 594 views

We’ve barely got our breath back from the Croatia/Austria kick-off and here are their Group B rivals, Germany and Poland. Here are the tracks for you, and under the cut are managerial comment, analysis, match reports and previews.


Pre-Lollards: The great pub winnovation poll!

FT + Pumpkin Publog7 comments • 476 views

On the Lollards show three weeks ago, we promised a poll to let you decide WHICH of the fantastic winnovations we ideated in the PUB FOCUS GROUP would most improve your pub experience. Here, at last, is that poll – please pick your favourite three ideas and we will announce the results on tomorrow’s FINAL SHOW* of Freaky Trigger and the Lollards Of Pop.

Pick the THREE best WINNOVATIONS to improve the pub experience!

  • Forced transvestisism in pubs to prevent fighting 56%
  • A boardgame like RISK involving winning table space in a pub 50%
  • Retractable chairs under every pub table 35%
  • Metal tables with a magnet on each glass to hold them in place 32%
  • A glass with a smaller top than bottom to avoid spilling pints (like a decanter) 29%
  • A pub for adult babies serving drinks in sippy cups 18%
  • Pews in pubs 18%
  • Kneeling down in pubs to drink to save chair space 9%
  • Plastic anti-spill trousers available from the condom machine 9%
  • Only serve beer in halves so less gets spilt 6%
  • Sedatives in beer to prevent fighting 6%

Total Voters: 34

Poll closes: 26 Mar 2008 @ 17:30

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*for now – keep an eye on FT for GREAT NEWS for all our listeners.

A dinner with the Pentecostals

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 429 views

1000 year old egg I don’t know how many of you have ever attended a Pentecostal church service, or hung around Christians of that persuasion for any meaningful length of time. The last time I spoke with someone I knew was Pentecostal was back in Tennessee; apparently in the UK it’s the fastest-growing Christian denomination of belief. They’re not as insular as the Seventh Day Adventists, but they’re at least as driven — there’s still the faint whiff of the cult about them. The story of Pentecost is the story of true believers surviving a day of reckoning through God’s grace; a wind from heaven scorches the earth and, among flames, boiling smoke and a blood-red moon, His followers become prophesyers, visionaries and “dreamers”. Essentially, Pentecostalism promises its followers that when the sh1t hits the fan, they will be superheros. Or at least Aquarians. It’s a strange cocktail of doomsday science and unbridled narcissism that apparently proves irresistable to more Britons each year.

Unaware of these tendencies lurking so nearby, I found myself surprised that upon sitting down to a dinner party in Holloway, the pleasant Chinese couple to my right who were cracking flavoured sunflower hulls and sucking out the contents with nimble aplomb announced to me, apropos of absolutely nothing (which is how these things always come out), that they were “very religious”. And left it there, picking at their seeds intently.

There really is little I enjoy less than discussing my dinner companions’ religious predilictions, but you have to say something, so I did.

“We’re Pentecostals,” he said, the mound of hulls having now grown to the size of a small anthill. She looked at me and said “Christian!”

“For 15 years,” the man said, grimly, I thought. After dinner was over he went out to the back patio and smoked the rest of a half-finished cigar, by himself.

Before that, though — but after the sunflower seeds — the entire table tasted what our host called “1000-year-old egg”. A delicacy in China and Hong Kong, 1000-year-old eggs are created by essentially burying eggs in mud for several weeks or months, turning the shell black, the white a translucent amber, and the yolk a mysterious dark green. A bit like some crash-landed alien, thawed out only in order to be eaten. (But will it change us if we do?)

The Chinese Pentecostals dug in, and smiled at our giggles and hesitant sniffing. They had nothing to fear from a 1000-year-old egg.