Posts from 11th May 2007

11
May 07

Tanya’s Army Of Awfulness: WARRANT (OFFICER) – Cherry Pie

FT + I Hate Music6 comments • 8,857 views

warrant.jpg“Damn fine Cherry Pie”. Such was Agent Smith’s catch phrase in David Lynch whacked-out-a-thon Twin Peaks. (A TV show responsible for not only Julee Cruise’s aural mogadon “Falling” but THE ENTIRITY OF MOBY’S CAREER – so Lynch is not on my Christmas card list). Clearly Agent Smith was talking about an actually Cherry Pie, and not this archetypal slice of hair metal by Warrant. Because there are plenty of words that describe this record, but Damn Fine are not amongst them*.

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Poptimism – Lesson Thirty Eight

Poptimism Podcast5 comments • 835 views

Innocence – Björk

Where Were You in 92? – MIA

Atlantis To Interzone – Klaxons (Hadouken! ‘Remix’)

Letter from God – Scroobius Pip and Dan Le Sac

I Am Somebody – DJ Mehdi (Switch remix)

Make the Logo Bigger – Burn Back

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THE FT TOP 100 SONGS: 60: DIANA ROSS – “Upside Down”

FT/6 comments • 2,400 views

Kat Stevens writes:

It’s 1997, and the Brit Awards organisers are trying to recover from the previous year’s Jacko/Jarvis debacle. The Spice Girls steal the show and the Manics’ rendition of A Design For Life ensures sales of Everything Must Go increase by 200%. And then we have Motown legend, Miss Piggy sound-a-like and all-round bonkers diva Diana Ross teaming up with… Jay Kay from Jamiroquai? Jay Kay from Jamiroquai? It’s a terrible duet, both performers sounding breathless and disinterested. Diana stares at Jay’s feet, Jay’s head is encased by a monstrous fluffy ushanka. The seventeen-year-old classic has been chewed up and shat out by the horrific advance of late nineties coffee-table funk. Bernie Edwards must have been turning in his barely-cold grave. Luckily we need never think of this travesty again, and can instead wallow in the deliriously euphoric Nile Rodgers guitar groove and knotty bassline of the original. Not a stupid hat in sight.

When A Man You’ve Never Met Before Gives You Flowers

Blog 7 + FT4 comments • 944 views

He’s probably been dumped by the girl he bought them for.

Impulse, the Just Seventeen of the deodorant world*, is advertising on the side of buses at the moment (can I find one on the web, can I heck). Three new fragrances to add to their already substantial range of cheap, whiffy smells to brighten up your sixth form common room. Now I know that fragrances often have names with little to do with the actual smells involved – long gone are the days you could just buy Rose perfume. Instead perfumes are seen as aspirational, hence the celebrity linking of late. You aren’t buying Jade Goody’s perfume to smell like Jade Goody after all (one assume the celebs don’t wear their own perfumes very often anyway). So the current range of Impulse body sprays are as follows:

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