Posts from 28th January 2006

Jan 06

THE FT TOP 13 ENDINGS: 4. The end of the First Pokemon Movie

Blog 7Post a comment • 354 views

Because all bets are off in a kids film, the outcome can be more outrageous, whether for good or bad. It’s the free-hand to go that bit further than the adults would stand that can produce a GAINT gem or a GIANT turd.

The end of the FIRST (gulp) Pokemon Movie stunned me and had me in fits. FIrst off the CLIMACTIC FIGHT, then the SACRIFICE and RESURRECTION.

This is between a small pink cat that sort of floats about and has a vocabulary of one word “mew”, and a SUPER MUTANT HUMANOID GONZO-PSYCHIC cat that speaks in a BOOMING GROWL of a voice, and says all the great BAD GUY things like “Foolish humans, you cannot stand in my way!!!!!”. So in the “fight banter” you have “WHY DO YOU CARE FOR THESE INSIGNIFICANT CREATURES – THEY ARE THE PAST, WE ARE THE FUTURE. JOIN ME AND WE SHALL CRUSH THEM… OR DIE!!!” which is trumped with a teeny “mew”.


Ash, the human “hero” rushes in “Can’t well all live together?” style, and is killed OMG. All the pokemon cry at the loss and THEIR TEARS BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE.


THE FT TOP 13 ENDINGS: 5. The corpse return to life

Blog 7Post a comment • 2,251 views

BOOO! The genre is horror/thriller. It’s Carrie (good), it’s Fatal Attraction (bad). Just when you thought it was safe to relax a final jolt just to leave you a little bit tingly. This has fallen into disrepute of late as a trick that’s too easy, too cheap. BEING CHEAP IS WHAT MAKES IT GREAT. Idiots. Why does everyone think it’s a criticism to say something is “cheap” or “lazy” all of a sudden? I’ll tell you what’s lazy, criticising something for being lazy. SAY WHY AT LEAST. Hoist, petard, etc.

Lazy tricks STILL WORK, and this one is designed to make you laugh as you leave – and that’s no bad thing. Carrie’s arm sticking out of the ground – YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS? someone is being mocked, either the preceding film, or the viewer. Either way you leave with a little grin. What shows that a lazy trick is effective, is that it can be used badly. Fatal Attraction, though it re-ignited a mini-craze for this ending, was a RUBBISH use of it cos it was REQUIRED. Not expected, cos it still managed to shock (oh come on it did, a bit), but the (rubbish) story required a definite end – there was no way “lady who like shagging” was going to end up any other way than 150% dead. Merely ambiguously unconscious/unmoving in the water is insufficient for an audience ravening for closure.

And as the rollercoaster comes gently back to the waiting queue BRAKE..ACCELERATE and stop. Everyone gets off smiling and giggling.