Posts from 11th October 2005

Oct 05

The KKK’s Favourite Pizza

Pumpkin Publog4 comments • 503 views

I hadn’t been to a Pizza Express in years. How the mighty fall, me having moved on to the larger joys of La Porchetta or the almost identical, but nicer staffed Pizza Paradiso. But where else to eat on Millbank? And they are celebrating their fortieth birthday with some new recipes. The Crayfish Tail & Tabasco one looked great, and this branch seemed to load its pizzas high. But they were out of crayfish. So I foolishly went for a Chicken and Mushroom pizza. Foolish? Because it was in the Pizza Bianca section.

The chicken was white, the mushrooms were whitish. And there was no tomato. Now perhaps Pizza Express feel they are missing a trick having tomato on all their pizzas. Perhaps it excludes tomato hataz. But tomato is pretty key on most pizzas, and said hataz probably steer clear of Pizza Express. And I am not sure that they would be all that taken by a pizza where the tomato is replaced by bechemel sauce.

So there was this very white, very bland pizza which played like an exploded, half cold, chip shop chicken and mushroom pie: but blander. Whiteness is not something I look for in my food, and this pizza was disappointing. So nice try Pizza Express, but white pizza = Persil Pizza = no no.


Proven By SciencePost a comment • 538 views

Just when we thought Chapter 9 would finally say who built the moon, it instead gives us a fudge. Oh it names the moon builder all right, and a rubbish name it gives them too. Said moon builder is called : UCA: not the Universe Construction Agency, which would have been hardhatastic, but something a bit more rubbish. Unknown Creative Agency. Bah, that just sounds like a bunch of admen.

Chapter 9 contains the following sentence, which sums up the book really:

We were well aware that there were some issues, which, if we forced ourselves to reconcile them simultaneously would inhibit lateral thinking.

Ie, lots of these ideas are too whacked out to sit on the same page together. Indeed this area is now pushing the “science is only one theory” argument which intelligent designers use, which is dangerous. That said, they are correct that science abhors a vacumn: and they would rather use an explanation for the moon that doesn’t work than have no explanation at all.

The chapter then says how the Moon was built, though without key facts like who or what stuff was hired from HSS Hire Shops to do the job. It also wanders back into its cul de sac of the number of orbits and ratios being important. You see this book is sure not only that the moon was built, that it was built to engender life, but also that it is a message and a specific message to ten fingered men too. Like the left wing rabble rouser, they cannot separate the good arguments (there are no theories for where the moon comes from) from the bad (400 is a round number).

And the UCA? Three more chapters full of theories I hope.

Biggest Grossing…

Do You SeePost a comment • 386 views

When something is described as the “Biggest Grossing Film Ever In…” I tend to worry. Not that populism isn’t bad per se, but then the US Market has as its high water mark (literally) Titanic. A thoroughly competent overblown (underwater) potboiler. Perhaps one can tell something about a society by its biggest grossing film ever. The US has class conquering love thwarted by nature disasters and hubris. If the White Star Line represents the Federal Government, and the iceberg The Wilderness then love does not conquer all, but you can survive and make yourself a better person.

What does Nightwatch say about Russia then? Um, that Russia is a bit rubbish? One thing the world was not calling out for was a Moscow version of Highlander. Without a proper ending. But that’s what we have got.

Apparently there is a secret war going on between good and evil on OUR VERY STREETS. Who knew. Except the people who made Underworld, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Neverwhere – et al EVERY FUCKING FILM THAT USES THIS PLOT. We should notice, because tornados and swarms of birds seem to hang around everywhere. Anyway there is a balance, blah blah, and good and evil have a truce, blah blah, and you just know that truce is about to end with a superpowered kid who has to be won over to the dark or light side.

None of it makes much sense, and it ends with the kid picking sides and To Be Continued… Perhaps the idea that the good guys seem more evil than the bad guys is a damnation of Russian society, perhaps its just the plot to a dour and dumb fantasy movie. But its the Biggest Grossing Russian Film of All Time, and it is rubbish.

An Experiment with Goth Veg

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 325 views

Mum’s packed lunch left rather a lot to be desired. On the journey down to my folks’ place in the south of France, she served up a picnic of browning iceberg, bendy carrots and hard-boiled eggs with yolks the colour of pumice (“I forgot they were doing, so I boiled them for 35 minutes”). We arrived at the house just in time for a quick trip to the local Intermarché and I was ready to pounce on anything that might satisfy my desperate palate.

Look at this! Mum didn’t take much persuading. Her side of the family is up there with Peter Rabbit when it comes to radish love and this one was enormous. And BLACK. I think these things must be unfamiliar to the French consumer too because each had a big orange label with cooking instructions: eat raw or fry with garlic and parsley. We chose the latter and picked up a great big sausage and some endive to go with it.

Alas, the lovely dark skin had to be peeled off, but underneath was crisp, white goodness that tasted … exactly like radishes. I had expected the pepper rule to apply here (small = dead pokey; large = hardly hot at all) but not so! This chap had a good, mustardy noseburn. We chomped on a couple of slices and put the rest in the pan.

Cooking turned the radish into something completely different. All its strength disappeared and it took on a taste and texture not unlike that of a Jerusalem artichoke. The big wimp needed an awful lot of garlic and salt, but was a decent plate filler. Next time I’ll keep it raw and maybe grate it, or put some chunks in tupperware to accompany whatever delicacy my mother has prepared for the way home.