Posts from 2nd March 2005

Mar 05

My chair shame.

Pumpkin Publog1 comment • 384 views

My chair shame.

Until last night it had been a while since I broke a chair. Having destroyed seating in Pete’s flat and two separate gites I should have realised my chair-breaking days were not behind me.

Last night I felt the chair go a while before the break ‘went public’. I thought it was simply that the crossbar had come out on one side, though, and continued to sit on it, just not moving very much. Unfortunately I was wrong – there was a great big crack at the top of one leg and leaning forward enthusiastically I caused it to break entirely. Cue one wrecked chair and one Tom sitting on his arse on the pub floor.

The staff – who could quite legitimately have blamed it on drunkenness and kicked me out – were very nice about it and found me another chair. I had drunk enough to not be properly shamefaced. I suppose in pub etiquette terms it’s similar to accidentally breaking a pint glass, but it’s a question of degree really.

The Worm Ouroboros

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As well as being sources of comfort and food for man, animals are also an endless source of wacky news stories. Only yesterday there was a story about a gorilla signing at women keepers to show him their breasts, and today brings us Snake eats own tail, which is surely a portent for the end of the world in some mythology or other.

I used to affect to despise these simple quirky news stories, but now I have to admit I’m hooked on them, particularly when they involve creatures doing crazy things. A subscription to Take A Break and a DVD of The Planet’s Funniest Animals no doubt lurk in my future.

After it turned out we were all too reserved to talk about love, this month Blog Seven is going to be about animals. I already suspect there will be a lot more entries, but to make sure of it we spent a while in the pub last night using our special Science Method to determine the Top 25 Animals in the world. Hot debates over fictional and robotic animals ensued and you’ll be seeing the results over the next 30 days.

The Retro Bar Pop Quiz!

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The Retro Bar Pop Quiz!

Everyone loves the Retro Bar Pop Quiz, I always wonder why I don’t go there more. Anyway Alan suggested it and there was a groundswell of pro-quiz feeling which led to not one, but two FT-related teams locked in a private struggle over the chart position of Ms Jackson and the Killers. I am delighted to announce that Team World’s Smallest Monkey consisting of me, Sarah and Magnus beat Team Rub consisting of SOME OTHER LOSERS who didn’t even know where Anarchy In The UK got to.


In fact Team WSM won the entire quiz. Though actually the moral victory was not ours as I messed up the lucky dip prizes and ended up with free tickets to some kind of Goth night.

We did a bit of flyering for POPTIMISM, which as you know by now is our upcoming proper club in the proper West End. We came up with a great plan for putting circular flyers in the bottom of ashtrays until we realised that, erm, people put cigs in them. And flyers are made out of paper.

The jukebox in the Retro Bar is very good, as you would expect.

The quiz machine is very elaborate and is packed with a thousand games, including a quiz based on Mouse Trap, a bit of a missed opportunity as the quiz should obviously involve wrong answers leading to the crappy mouse trap not working or the little ball getting lost.

There was something else that caused us all to cry “Blog it” but I’ve forgotten. Perhaps Pete will remember.