Posts from 26th October 2004

Oct 04


Proven By SciencePost a comment • 363 views


this reverses the usual fear i guess but i still suspect mileage may vary (badman: “we have googled and found a thing called ilXoR: what exactly did you mean when you said… ” etc)


Blog 7Post a comment • 223 views


aged c.3-16 i did not have that much in common with moors murderer ian brady that i can think of, except this: a morbid terror of daddy-long-legses – and i got over mine, b4 you all rush off to the police… nevertheless, as a child, i could not bear to be in the same room as one: if it wz still, i wd gaze transfixed at it, dreading the moment it set off flying again, trailing its delicate, terrible legs —> and when it did, i wz off. I remember standing (aged 7-ish?) looking at one rested on the shed, trying to bring myself to nudge it w.a broom-handle, to cause it to fly off in the open air – and failing my own dare. Of course everyone constantly informed me that NO INSECT COULD BE MORE HARMLESS – even some butterflies can give you a nasty nip – but i knew this, the nameless thing that terrorised me was not attack. Then and now i can let eg wasps settle on me calm. My dad has the standard Spider Thing quite bad, never mastered: even safe on TV, an arachnoid scuttle will turn him white and nauseous, and; someone else must always remove them from the bath (that someone often me).*

But round abt 16 i realised what it was i was actually afraid of, deep down, and the full fear just crumpled. I wz reading Brighton Rock: and in it there’s a paragraph where pinky picks off the legs of a DLL one by one, then the wings, before tossing the useless little body-cylinder onto the bed. It’s the only scene I remember w.clarity: I haven’t reread it since. The last bit encapsulates the unbearable end I’m transfixed by: the idea of this still-living tiny little thing trapped alive in what remains of it, its now-useless body-cylinder. And the subtext wz this: pinky had done – deliberately, as a casually ghastly little crime – exactly what I wz so frightened wd happen by mistake. If a DLL brushed against me, it would COME APART. Once visualised and expressed, the terror begins to be rationalised, to become copeable with. I can avoid touching them; if I HAVE to (when would I have to?) I can be super-alert and gentle. Insects are generally surprisingly toughly built and robust: thus and therefore, DLLs are built by nature to survive loss of a leg or three (OK a bit of me is still shuddering as I type that). And accidents are highly avoidable, and to reach the pinky-point I’d have to *be* a pinky (and have a lot more in common w.brady): it wd certainly have to be deliberate. I can’t say I’m not still over-sensitive to their presence and a bit spooked at touching them, but I can and have cupped them in my hands and set them free out of a window.

I saw the film I’m Not Scared in August

The Brown WedgePost a comment • 402 views

I reviewed it here. It was alright. It did not leap out at me, perhaps because it struck me as a slightly more serious children?s film foundation attempt. In Italian.

I got the book for my birthday. Problem is I have seen the film, so I know what happens. And this is a story where, for at least the first half, there is a real unfolding sense of mystery. The mystery was not there for me, so instead I had to concentrate on the evocation of place (equally competing with the overly lush visuals of the film). The book is a first person memoir, and as such we do get to identify more with Michele than we do in the film (and perhaps at least vaguely understand why he acts the way he does). But this was not enough for me to ever shirk the film off. Would I have loved it if I had not seen the film? Maybe. Looking at my comments on the film, I think they hold for the book too: it is a grown up, evocation of a realistic version of the Famous Five. Do I want that? I am still not sure.

Carrot and orange soup is a good way of clearing up a glut

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 612 views

Carrot and orange soup is a good way of clearing up a glut of (flatmates) carrots. It is a quick one too, you briskly boil your carrots for only ten minutes before pureeing, it is better if the carrots still have a bit of bite. Warming, yet tangy, it was also recommended cold. So I ate some and chilled the rest.

Its success cold however it all depends how you serve it. In a bowl it is a pretty good chilled soup, pretty with a sliced orange round on top. In a glass, it is almost identical to Wagamama?s Raw Juice. Num!