Posts from 30th June 2003

Jun 03

PINK – Feel Good Time

FT + New York London Paris Munich1 comment • 655 views

I certainly would not have wanted to be the person to write the main song for the Charlie’s Angels sequel. How do you even get close to both the outstanding brilliance of Independent Woman Part 1 or indeed how do you dovetail the fun of the song with the fun of the film so well. One technique is of course not even bothering. Which is the route used by Pink (surely now she has nary a lick of pink in her barnet she should relinquish the name). Firstly Pink, grumpy bird that she is now should not have been let anywhere near this franchise. The name would suggest that a track from the Legally Blonde sequel would have made more sense. But instead we get Pink not only doing the song, but in the film in a cameo role.

One of the nice things about Independent Woman (Part 1) was how the song references the film without being out and out Ghostbusters. The beautiful role call opening linked the two pieces of work – and the Angels were ultimately confident Independent Women. If Feel Good Time has a similar kind of synergy it suggest that Barrymore, Diaz and Liu will just be going through the motions. There is not a spark of fun in the song at all. Which bodes badly for the film – which in itself the original was one of the best pop music using films in years. Pink has taken the pop out of Charlie’s Angels.

(An aside, whilst being equally gritty, Christina Aguiliera’s “Fighter” would have been a perfect song for the film. And she’s even got the chaps for dirt bike racing. Cos Charlie’s Angels are Fighters. Of course if anyone had released a song called “Fetish Gear Dressing Up Box” that would have won the gig hands down.)

Posted edited 1/07/03 to get the name of the song right. Though frankly as she sings Real, Good Time all the way through the song it would be useful to your half cockjed reviewer if she called it that. I’m asking you – who does this make look stupid – me or Pink?

DJ FORMAT – The Hit Song

I Hate Music3 comments • 1,033 views

DJ FORMAT – The Hit Song

In which yet another one of those incessant stream of turntablists hooks up with a lousy no mark MC to make a hip-hop record. DJ Format is a UK turntablist, for which read someone who wants to be in hip-hop but realised a long time ago that there are no decent rappers in Brighton – let alone the UK. So of course he went alone with his wicky-wicky noises and roped in the best solo rap artists he could find.

He really shouldn’t have started looking in Canada.

Abdominal, who raps on The Hit Song, fits his name only in as much as he raps just about as well as Abs from Five would. But that’s okay, since this is an “intelligent” rap record. We can tell this by using the Tanya Headon patented undie rap intelligence test:
a) There is no swearing
b) The subject matter is either needlessly obscure or utterly irrelevant
c) Simple concepts are laboured over in an effort to prove how clever it is
d) It goes on far too long
e) It is crap.

The Hit Song hits (apologies) all of these criteria with bags of self referentiality to spare. Y’see the point of the Hit Song – as belaboured over in the chorus – is that DJ Format rings up his mate Abdominal because they need to record a hit record. Possibly also because he has no mates in the UK. Why he has chosen a lousy rapper like Abdominal to make this hit record with it is unclear, he certainly doesn’t display any skills which would make this look like a probably outcome. Rather than a song about how bling he is, or how he shags loads of girls, or even how badass he is – Abdominal decides to take another tack. He combines the favourite topic of US comedians playing in the UK (what happened on their flight over) with a linguistic examination of what exactly the word hit means.

He picks up the meaning which a boxer would be most acquainted with, he is even au fait with the Mafia meaning. Nowhere in his illustration of meaning, metaphors and examples does he ever grasp what it is to have an actual HIT RECORD. You know, good lyrics and a tune. Instead he says the word hit so many times the it ends up having as little meaning to the listener as it obviously does to DJ Format.

(This piece was brought to you by the word HIT: which has occurred 10 times – one for each of the belts in the chops that DJ Format is going to get when I see him next.)