Posts from 27th February 2002

Feb 02

DUEL 2002! Round 1 Match 3

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DUEL 2002! Round 1 Match 3

Duel 2002 Round 1 Match 3
Which Of These Two Acts Is Worse?
David Gray
Linkin Park

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YORE CORRESPONDENT FROM THE FUTURE AKA STARRY SARAH SPEAKS. “A tosspot which came bearing a particularly imbecIlic gimmick of wobbling and twitching his head out of sync to his acoustical guitar, David Gray came to trouble in years which are yet to come to innocent Duel 2002! voters. In 2006, with the advent of the ‘for the sake of little baby Jesus in his little baby ROCKER stop TWITCHING’ Law, David Gray was prosecuted and canned in stinky fish brine and kept as Art by Bubbles the Chimpanzee. Incidentally, Gray’s acoustical guitar was also purchased by Bubbles, and now brings harmony to his bowel movements as a spare ‘comfort station’. His records have been put forward for the good of society to be used in Space Jails to keep prisoners snoring The Sleep Of The Unjust.


I Can Be Your Hero, Baby

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I Can Be Your Hero, Baby: After halfheartedly swapping spit with actresses Shannon Elizabeth and Jennifer Love Hewitt on the sets of previous videos, Mr. Enrique Iglesias took another step towards securing his Luckiest Sumbitch crown by invading the intimate personal space of one Anna Kournikova, renowned tennis professional, in the video for his latest single, “Escape”. Jokes involving the words “serve” and “love” shall be stricken from the record. Jokes involving Ms. Kournikova’s status as a professional tennis player, though plentiful, are always encouraged.